愚昧

我太过先进了。用惯了nike水壶的我，早已习惯捏着水壶，等水喷出来。我早已忘却更为基本的方式：打开一个小开关，把水到进嘴里。就是为此，想把整个盖子打开的我，却把新买来的protein shake洒满全身。

出丑了！

喔！还真是够短的。

Of Stocks and Self Revelation

Been some time since last sat.

And that weekend, no work was done. But at least on mon night i managed the Gulliver Travels essay, which took hours since i didn't read the bk before that. Tues was prometheum day since mon it rained and hey i realised i'm not old i'm MATURE. Yeah. sounds hell lot better.

Today's cle taught stuff that i've mostly heard before, but served as gd reminders. No, no, i'm not gonna waste time mind mapping again (i draw/write ugly,its a pain to look at 'em) and i'm not gonna write goals yet again (which 'd be the third time this semester. eh. its not working leh)
But 2 things made sense. That is,
SLEEP!--> ya my healthy lifestyle plan.
Focus on only one thing at a time. Which is why i'm blogging now since i dun want to spilt my mind. Next is some blog-reading, then Oral Defense,then chinese, then pack bag then revise smth (to be decided).

oh u noticed the chinese hwk. It's the result of our chinese CT, which tph concluded, we are simply not good enough. Not that i had any illusion that i'm of A1 standard anyway, just that i wasn't ready to face it sooooooo soon, along with chem and the other horrors of Uncle Week 6.

But i'll put in the effort. Which i've ingeniously thought, to post in CHINESE!!!! WHich could well plunge my readership from 1--->0 (i prolly won't even read it myself) but hey i'd write. Once i'm done talking abt the stuff mentioned in the title.

Stocks. Yes. Mr Tan was talking about how we must 'evaluate the stockmarket', to translate loosely, and basically spot zuo wen questions. Splendid. Splendid. Everything's Splendid, so long as A1 follows.

Self Revelation. Mrs lim's really funny in her own way. From explaining why the notes she gives have the main pts, but there're still stuff for us to copy down as we go along, she can link it to how we should conduct ourselves when interacting with the gals in JC next yr: Don't let them know EVERYTHING about yourself, otherwise not interesting already. Lol. Lifeskills, boys!

好，现在开始用华语了。用具老掉牙的话。。。

夜已深了，就此搁笔，余言再叙。 =）

Don't rise if you wont but don't drop

Gone the way of the Dodos. Those big birds that waddle rather than fly.

Actually, no, my study plan's not going extinct. I was just trying to sound intelligent.

Which increasingly, i 'm feeling less of.

Wednesday's AGM was fine.Thurs workout was pretty bad. Hardly any strength gained. Fri's career forum was interesting.

I'm very bothered right now. U can see i'm writing in random thoughts. Lucky this's not graded.

I'm disappointed with how the week went, work wise.Downright terrible. I'm 8hours behind my revision schedule, and 4 days worth of revision has passed, which basically means this wk, other than chinese, nothing was revised at all. Of course theres the heavy workload that seemed to suggest week 3 has a magnet, attracting all deadlines to it. oh my.

But more to blame is my slack attitude. I can't remember clearly. Tues i was complacent, giving myself a break after a hard paper.I think wed was excusable cuz i was prepping agm. Thurs was a disaster. I see the bed, think 'i'll get some rest' and then the night's gone. Fri was doing bookclub at ruilin's house till 7.30 and the time at home wasted. Sat morn was ok since tuition i revised maths. My maths technique's all there, but i can't understand why for integration i can nvr quite sub in the numbers correctly bleah.

And by afternoon shit i slept again and then i wasted my time day-dreaming oh my gosh i used to like to do that as a kid and now i know when i behave like that i'm really stressed yes i'm but i cancelled my workout too cuz i knew there's no way i can focus on it the only way to get to grips with stress is to cure the cause which if i was serious (and confident) of curing i'd be slogging away now instead of blogging but i can't cuz i'm too stressed.

thats one long paragraph cuz i can't really stop and punctuate my sentences something's wrong with me

My physics quiz dead cuz i dun know how this magship moves damn.but its alright i didn't study for it anyway so heck. but my SS gosh 13/20 for my hard piece of work. my group put in SOOO much effort into it we know we did. Which basically goes to show Effort (not =) Performance. Which sucks but hey thats life.

Life is a tough one i mean look at the career forum. Its either u enjoy and make less dough or trade ur life for money. neither that appealing bah.

So either ur born rich or marry rich. Neither gonna happen either.

bah.

And my neck white spots are popping up gosh and the medicine applied on it gosh it sizzles like boiling water's pour unto it but when u touch it therd's only dampness to show, not those bubbles that pop up after the skin's scalded. but it still hurts.

Those on the back hurt more than those on the front. could it be cuz those on the back are nearer to the nerve center? hey no the speed differences should be negligible. or maybe there're just more pain receptors at the back rather than the front. Some garbage speculation this is, but have u ever had the experience of analysing a pain, then feeling that its no longer that severe?

Maybe thats why i'm analysing my study-schedule problem. So i'll fret less. And get down to work.

shift it around

missed gym today.

knew there wasn't time.

Ppt had to be done.

Agm's tmrw. Handover rehearsal was today.

Old already.

Be mature, be sensible.

Go study.

go.

Culture and the new-sleep

Had an interesting title for today's post, but forgot and no time to remember, so i just put what i'm gonna write.

Culture. Yes. I more or less identified another area i want to improve myself in. U see, since sec2 i've been working on 1)academics: which basically only got hardcore a week ago 2) weiqi: which has been put on hold this week 3)fitness: yay yay i've been gymming 4) interacting more: which is kind of put in the fridge for now.

But i realised i must be more cultured. Attending the culture lesson last fri was so enriching. I always loved this part of chinese. it was just all those ting xie that scared me. So i'll either have chinese or lit next yr. Up the culture quotient boyz!

new-sleep. Thats swimming. hA. Was unexpectedly tired after chinese prelims today i didn't study in the train so waste of time ><. Others were going back to slp, i was going to swim, and at the end they're refreshed, and so am i. And at night i can go to sleep, they probably not sleeply. whee!

Oh yes i rmbr smth else i wanted to blog abt last night. i realised that to get A1 for hcl o lvls, throwing away 7 marks for zuo wen and 2 marks from ying yong wen isn't quite gonna cut it. So I PROMISE (no no, ur not listening to a prefectorial election speech) that i'll do 1 zuo wen every 2 days once ct is over, and get sister dearest to vet it for me. I wanted to say daily, but hey, i intend to keep my promises u know?

Wednesday here i come!

The good, the good, and the goodie.

I've rescheduled work to later this week, those basketfuls of englished dropped on us today.

Thats bad.

And my gym today, i went to do 6reps with the weight i used for 12reps... no wonder it felt so easy! So careless.

bad too.

But i'm gonna start chinese, like now?

yeah. focus on the positive boys! the good, gooder, gooderest goodie!

If you've studied don't tell me

Been trying to study chinese in the past hour. gave up on writing and just read thru 3A ci yu shou ce.

Fri nite was a waste, tot i could relax awhile and boom its 1am, there goes my sleeping pattern =/

Sat morn was tuition and i went thru electromagnetic induction. then after i went to plan my revision up to cts, bearing in mind zijian's comments that "you end up planning more than studying" and knowing from painful experience that that could well happen. But i planned anyway.

Lowered (i know the euphemism should be 'revised') my target gpa to 3.64, down from the unrealistic 3.7 smth.

3.64's already pretty thrilling for me, considering that my basics for some subject is next to non-existent, and my current gpa is 3.33 :(

Then after planning i was kinda paralysed. geez. the weeks ahead are PACKED and i gotta cancel next wk's weiqi to fit things in.

Then i went to gym. My gym, a parallel to life. Just as i face a challenge in real life, i face it in gym. Geez can u believe it, my bench press weights failed to increase yet again, even though with the previous weight i was doing, i could do 6 sets. Sheesh. so embarrassing when the weights crashed to the ground with a loud 'thud!' and guys on the trackmill all turned to look. oh well.

But i'm glad i did well the rest of the way, ending at 9 when the ppl actually came to close the gym heh. Added a new cardio at the end of my gym session. Its basically skipping, but since i can't maintain skipping for the 3min thats req. for the boxer's regime that i found online (3min of skipping +1min of pushups or whatever other exercise) i decided to go for a 1:1 ratio instead. I tried 10 sets of 100 skips, in between each set i did barbell curl, a triceps and another deltoits, all 3 sets each, and after the 10th set of skipping i did as many pushups as i could last and guess what, only did 12!!!!!!!! throw face! if thats my real max i'd have plenty to learn in the army ;)

Looked set for a gd nite's sleep but then went back and chat with my mom and sis (my sis 's fren ask her go gym and she was asking me abt it) and by the time i slept it was 12.30.

And not surprisingly i couldn't get up today for the 4k run and then i did maths sheesh its pretty bad but i think i'm sleepy still cuz of the 3 mistakes 2 were careless =/

After dinner was doing up the ppt for chess club agm, oh my so many thoughts.

Anyway my plan to study chinese wasn't fully executed but i must get on with my schedule.

So,

If you've studied,
don't tell me.

Just what i want

these few days have been hectic, but i've got to sleep all fine and i think thats really what i want.

been going home myself daily now and i'm 'capturing time' by working my ass off in the train either reading or doing work. This lil kid in the train today was so amused by my filling up of my chinese worksheet heh. first time he see ah? plz lor. time is precious.

oh and the career talk just made me want to capture time more. my plan so far has always been to be somewhere in the finance industry (no science, get $$$ all the same) but when the dude said 5000 pay a month for 18hours working days, then its a "please, i want a life."

So i kinda gotta rethink it all. and cca too. my plan of weiqi+sports cca, well i must see if i really can handle it. Less bravado and all the 'can-do' talk, i really must do some field research.

attended a chinese wen hua ke today, initially for the sake of wenhuafen but i really enjoyed the lecture on 朦胧诗。 What exactly is it？It refers to poems written (published in underground publications) during the Cultural Revolution. let me share my pick of the bunch with ya before i retire for the night, the discipline to sleep early!!

here goes:

《一 切 》————作者：北岛

一切都是命运
一切都是烟云
一切都是没有结局的开始
一切都是稍纵即逝的追寻
一切欢乐都没有微笑
一切苦难都没有泪痕
一切语言都是重复
一切交往都是初逢
一切爱情都在心里
一切往事都在梦中
一切希望都带着注释
一切信仰都带着呻吟
一切爆发都有片刻的宁静
一切死亡都有冗长的回声

just a lil edit 'd do the trick

i think i 'm putting time into task oriented stuff.

Just at the wrong time.

Like today, go swimming after the talk that ended at 4.30 sheesh.

THen last night slept too late. todays math TA i think i'll get 7/10, which is no where gd enough for my 4 self-tests effort. No i'll make up for it in cct, where i'll pwn greg and ya my free pool.

More time on studies, cut out the crap. yes. a lil edit 'd do the trick:)

MATHS

Oh my i just did a 1h27min paper (i multiply marks by 1.3) on integration in 1h10min!!!!!

What a blast! woohooo! i must celebrate!!!!!!!

Although only got 76%, no thx to 4% going away to forgetting to write 'c'.

eh.

its still pro!

just not perfect

ytd was a good day. Tuition (maths+chem) in morn, maths practise in afternoon, gym in evening, weiqi in the nite. All packed.

But insomnia is screwing me up. Ok ok maybe its too heavy a word to use. Maybe its, just not used to sleeping at 11. I remember that time when i was successful i'd feel exhausted by 12 and can surely sleep. but now i lie on bed from 11-1.

I just needa work at it. or else more days 'd be like this morn. I clearly remember hearing the alarm clock go at 7am, i pressed it off, plonked back to my dream (it was a really strange dream. it was game-like, and i was a detective. Must be too engrossed in jay chous new song, the first track in his new album, smth di 7 zhang) and then when i woke up again it was 9.45 and i prepare breadfast, eat it, 'lie on bed for awhile' and woke at 12. there u go again.


Now, back to playing catch-up.

not right, not quite

A marathon of 4 games later, my record stands at 1-3.

I'm lucky its not 0-4. Geez.

Maybe i should go back an 打谱. Haven't replayed pro games for ages, focusing on sihuo instead.

And speaking of sihuo, it reminds me of smth i read before. It said, it doesn't matter how well you can think, how deeply u can calculate; if you don't spend time doing that during game time, then its all no use.

Maybe i need to start sitting on my hands. My mouse just goes click click click.

Then i click,

"resign"

==over==

my anti sleeping pill

swam this morn. Finally woke at 6.30 as planned phew. Then afternoon practised integration and its applications. Then afternoon was meant for chemistry but i look at the notes and i just konk out. oh my. almost fell asleep and i didn't get anything of it done.

So now i'm playing weiqi. After i recharge then get back to it lah. yeah yeah 2kyu 2kyu here i come!

And it'll get better.

Lost. Again. oh my. Such an early mistake.

Haiz.

Ok plan for 2k by end of this holi is SCRAPPED cuz i may be going to this wkn trials for some korean tourney but now swa says, u need to have an swa cert (which comes with a fee) before u can join. Eh i'm only joining for practise lor. heh so i may not go after all. Wonder if i make any sense, but i want to deprive myself of any cert till i win my 3d one next year. Get a cert on a high. Getting my 2d now 'd be getting on low. I want to get it happy. And i want to make sure i get it. kinda like, wanna 破釜沉舟. it'll work out. I have faith in myself.

And i'll go find xunkang another day.

Live, to fight another day.

Oh my life's still ok. Sleeping at 11+ doesn't cut it, i couldnt get to sleep and i couldn't wake at 6.30 as planned. Woke at 10 instead and there goes my 'morning' part of the day.

=/

other then that, things are alright

and 'll get better.

The three things

As i just told aaron, its a mugging-weiqi-gymming holiday for me. Just that the first two didn't quite receive enough attention.

I should spilt a day into 3 parts, morning , afternoon, evening.

Today's morning was spent at CIP at chen su lan home.

Afternoon was at weiqi lesson.

Evening was doing maths ws 1 of application of integration. Which was like 1hour+ only when i had scheduled 2 hours for it. Crap lah. i 'm wasting time aplenty. But i still felt glad when i finally found out how to do extra question 2, which i somehow didn't copy down the solution for. I'm beginning to re-like the subject. It feels similiar to doing sihuoti.

Anyway sidetrack for awhile. Today went for lunch then went library with the 4H guys. So many what ifs. What ifs we had hanged out more last yr? Before the class became so screwed up? things 'd be lots better. Its not such a bad class, really. Oh yeah the library hor, i still prefer jurong east's one.

The SLEEP MARATHON!!!! no no i'm not gonna start sleeping in and ruin my schedule i just realised that going to sleep at 1 daily is BAD. Good thing is i get myself awake by 7 the next day so it feels fine (i like the positive effect waking early has on me). 6 hours a day. No No. By evening i'll konk out and see what happened to my maths. so many careless mistakes.

Not to mention that it'd be bad for my gymming. And no, not tmrw nite, i can't be tired tmrw nite.

Playing xunkang.

Like how france says playing italy again won't be a rematch of the WC finals, neither will this game be.

But i still want to play xunkang again.

And win.

I'm a competitor. Remain competitive. Win.

Oh and its another day

Gym in the morn, teaching shane weiqi in the afternoon, (unintended) nap, dinner, maths, chat, weiqi.

sums up the day.

That has just passed.

The Rain is Raining

Oh yes it is. Its all wet outside.

Totally off schedule. I think the problem lies with sleeping late. like ytd. Woke at 11 and had to push the workout to afternoon and everything's screwed from there on. No, actually it improved, but i was just desperate to catch up with my schedule, thats all.

there was phys proj then Buke this morn so its been a better day. Then went swimming and devoted my time home to the Old Man and the Sea. Its nice. But not an exciting read thx to ruilin who gave us the spoiler. So read it. Since i haven't spoilt it for u.Oh and even if u do know the plot, give the book a shot nonetheless. The descriptive writing's perfect.


And tmrw was supposed to be gym-soccer-pool which's scrapped last min by greg heh what to say? Not surprised =p

So now the challenge's to wake up on time for my workout. Then everything's gonna be alright.

Thrash Talk

Because i talk alot, but do little.


Oh, i grinded out a tough 2.5pt win on kgs today. Only notable thing done.

Life buoys

Reading those motivational stuff, life coaching stuff, time management etc are like throwing life buoys into the sea ur gonna swim in.

Yeah, i know you know how to swim, but swim, swim swim.... till u cramp/tire/drunk seawater etc and u'll struggle.... And if there's a life buoy around, just reach for it, and , bravo! u're safe again.

Was pretty much lost this morning. Woke at 9 and missed my morning workout yet again, and wasted time dithering around and i somehow feel asleep on the bed again and woke only at 12.

Then i remembered reading somewhere, its very impt to know why ur avoiding what ur supposed to do. Its pointless getting all motivated, adrenaline pumped, yet not know what the real issue was. And the real issue was: I was 3 days behind my revision schedule, and with the additional holi hw, i had no idea how i could get back on track.

So i planned. Now i'm just a couple of hours behind, thx to my chat with mommy dearest, as well as my gym session overun.

i planned to spend 1hour there, but ended up using 2 full hours. reason? I had bought the tv star cum former wushu champ Vicent Ng's fitness book recently and after taking a look at it i thought it would be unsuitable for me cuz they included lotsa exercises that required machines that my gyms (ntu 's staff clubs' as well as bishan's one) didn't have. I 'm not abt to go into any of those high end ones anytime soon, so well, no-go for me.

Besides, i had recently modified a workout in the recent men's health issue for my own use, cuz its meant to be a time-saver as well as a total body workout. But i didn't follow exactly as i wasn't familiar with some of the exercises there. I just researched which parts it worked, then improvised.

But anyway, i wasn't about to switch workout right away. But i did adopt a few tips in the book, like not eating 3 hours before u sleep etc.

Then today i looked at the book again, and saw one section: "Exercises to do every session" and geez they were all abs ones and look at vincent ng's abs and u go WOW. But of cuz i'm not having any illusions abt what i'd get even if i follow his workout. After all, if one were a national athlete before embarking on a workout, then the post-workout results 'd be far better than what an average lad 'd get.

Still, i decided to remove the abs part of my original 4 exercise workout and replace it with the exercises recommended in the book(which were, by the way, drawn up by a certain James Wong rather than Vicent Ng himself =/ ). So i timed myself and, guess what:

Time taken to do warmups+3 other exercises (Lat pulldown,bent over row, squats, this is my set B workout) : 55minutes.

Time taken to do the recommended abs workout: 50minutes.

><

oh my gosh.


But i won't give up just yet, cuz today's 3 other exercises were exceptionally long cuz i decided to record the weights i use to gauge my progess, hence i was alot more particular in finding the appropriate weight, which translated into alot of changing of weights( and the 1minute rest in between the switch for the bod to rest). yeah. So i can probably cut down the 50min to like 40? about there.

The abs one can be cut down if i can remember 'em and not have to constantly refer to the book. But i'll still refer to the book for the time being,because to be honest my form's pretty poor with the new exercises. However, when i do cut down i think it can go only to like 45min. Yeah, it'll take THAT long cuz of the awesome no. of reps u've gotta do since its rather hard to vary the resistance without a machine for abs exercises.

40 + 45 = 85min = 1hour 25minutes.

Sheesh. I wonder if i can keep that up when term starts again.

Otherwise i'll just go back to the good ole' crunches. Which hasn't got me any pacs, sad to say.

Oh btw my sis just said, "your body is getting bigger but your head's not. It looks weird".

err. ok. see if i can invent some "Head Press" machine o.O