A bagfull of problems

My flossed teeth's killing me. Ok, its not that bad now, but it was 15min ago. I'm coughing, and with the season just a week away, thats bad, bad news. And my sem. 1 Pride and Prejudice journal's still uncompleted. 11chapters! And my control of my life, not there. Oh, and my room's still unpacked.

These 2 days have been mighty fine. Went vivo to watch Zodiac at cineme europa with ben hx and zijian, then chenz came and we had dinner and played Air hockey, pool, table soccer and some boxing thing at adidas.

Then i came back, chat, and got so caught up reading abt zodiac that when i slept, the clock showed 2.40 AM.

No wonder i'm coughing.

Nights with trouble getting to sleep is the norm for cts, but ireally gotta shake it off now.

Today was fun. After some time out, weiqi and even its sihuotis are enjoyable again. Had a haircut, and watched Transformers with chuah and his fren +cousin. Gee. I was rather suprised when my watch show 9pm by the end of it. It felt as if the day had only just begun.

So, what's next?

I need a plan of cuz. I've been saying i'd do it for a LONG time, but i really gotta work on my "The Way Forward". Yeah i'm weird, but such stuff is really neccessary for me to get cracking.

Tmrw's start of weiqi league, and if i feel fine(no cough), 'd be hitting the gym in the morn(and test my Concise Workout) and take my DS and WS, and league's till 6 so thats evening gone as well... but hey, no pushing work back! here's the deal : either pack my room tmrw, or complete at least 3 chapters of journal.

And i just found a poem of mine in my thumbdrive. dated 10th feb last year. i wonder what inspired it. omg its not bad, OK better than anything i've written this year at least. ok i'll go search my blog to see if i can find what inspired it. cya!

What 'll make you happy?

I've realised, my mood has really been swinging these days.

Don't have the stability i used to enjoy. No plans for the future as well. Just, season, then cambridge, full-stop. Bleah. I must find a constant to fill the gap in me. Fball not gonna do it, gals arent and weiqi is only a painkiller.

Hahaha sounds very serious right? I don't think its that bad, that just over the 1st half of the yr everything i do seems at best half-successful. Now i dont seem to be planning anymore, seem to have lost the belief. Antidote?

SPRING CLEANING!! hahaha got the idea when i swept the floor today. Yeah clean out the mess, might have +ve effect on my mood. We'll talk abt planning again then.

new direction

Got my new stick ytd.

Spent plenty of time viewing fball video last wk, and with my new stick ytd my mind was on the game again, nvm the cts.

Anyway, i've thought things through, including whether to post it here or not, but decided to go ahead anyway since 1)nobody comes here anyway 2)its true.

Ok its no secret i had wanted to be capt of fball. Wanted it, wanted it BADLY.But now i've thought things thru, and since i can't be the next jon muk (as in, his captainship, not other stuff), if i continue with fball next season, i'll want to be a combination of Bennett and Hakeem. Bennett tong for his knowledge and dedication, hakeem for his goalscoring and superstardom. When he shoots, he expects to score, u can see it in his eyes, and one day u'll find it in mine.

Of cuz, ive not been so caught up with myself not to realise that 1) This season hasn't even begun yet 2)i've only scored 1 puny goal so far. So of cuz, the focus is on this season. Next mon's training is crucial, the last 1 before matchday, and the last chance to make a case(not verbally, of cuz) for game time.

And training starts tmrw! at home, i mean.

Worked with my stick today too, trying to hit the toilet roll thingy(sans the toilet paper) from a distance of abt 28cm X20. Hmm awful result, wrist shot was 1/50, till i put 2 toilet rolls side by side instead, and ended with 6/100 --->6%!!!!

Drag shot was better, or maybe i had just gotten the hang of shooting. 10/77 --->12%DOUBLE!!! wahaha i know i know, 12%'s awful too, but it's just the beginning, i'll get better. Watch.

Oh and a little abt the new Master stick. I know i know, 2006 series is OLD, 2008's coming out soon, but its daddy's gift and i'll treasure it. Alright, turns out its as long as Enemy, against my wishes of getting a shorter stick, and its circle rather than oval as i'm used to. But the grip's alot nicer, and the blade's softer, the shape makes ball control easier. Oh and the flex suits me better, Enemy was like some rigid dude. But oh show him some love, he's served me well.

Ok math ct was ok, predicted score: B-A. Econs wasn't good, prediction: C-B

Lit? better don't get D, hahaha.

Have you got Game?

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity

To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment

Would you capture it or just let it slip?

From "Lose Yourself" by Eminem.

You cant just capture it just by wanting to.

Not even by wanting ENOUGH.

But do i even want it enough?

Besides, skill counts too.

Have you got Game?

wasted

My wkn was wasted. Revision plan put to waste. Now lets put things right.

no, i did study

why am i blogging so late?

TOday's supposed to be rest day; i had only rested for 1 full day (2nd day of lanke) this entire month. Supposed to be a rest day, yet i'm sleeping so late. eeks.

And just some pw work done today only. Whrs the reorganising of plans?

guess i'll do it tmrw.

For the record, i did study this week, meeting daily with ben and chenz till thurs.

but few hours aint enough. Hardcore starts... tmrw! or, realistically, monday heh

resolve to do it

only 1 purpose here

till i have started studying for 3 days straight, no blogging.

taking stock

why am i blogging so late when i decided i need to sleep early for tmrw?

cuz i decided not to wake up early and rush lit and waste mrs P's time marking an essay which i'm wholly unprepared for. And had had plenty of time to do so.

In a nutshell, my holi's been good for everything but work.

Ok, not perfect in others. Didn't actually do any plyo workouts as planned, and only got JC Performance prize (read:13th-15th) in Lanke. But at least i kept to my gym workouts and finished them with tabata, did my runs and trained floorball till 12am in the dark, lonely dressing room of my hall's function hall last wed nite. ooo that was memorable..And yeah, i finally made the team. Weiqi wise i actually felt i played well at Lanke, though no memorable wins before i take a break, but the quality of my games were satisfactory in my eyes. My middlegame needs to be worked on, i know, i'll tackle it after my break.

Yes i'm taking a break from weiqi to concentrate on floorball and studies. Neither looks particularly promising.

Havent actually practised fball on my own after making the team. Now that chenz gone, seem to have lost a fren in the team. Jill's talk abt team as family is in the right direction, but as a team it'll take time before we can arrive at that destination. And the desire to excel, i must find that again. can't only hardcore when the threat of getting cut stares me in the eye. No, must push myself nonetheless. I'm not here to make up the numbers. I'm here to play and contribute. Be Wonderful and Worthwhile!

Studies... haiz i planned to do this lit essay LAST FRI!!! then push to monday. then tuesday. Song ci vcd is too thrilling for my own good. I love all these detective-type story, nvm that song ci is actually a forensic scientist of ancient times. Its all this deductive work, i'm seduced by 'em. No wonder i was such a fan of sir arthur conan doyle in the past. One day i must plunge into the complete collections of his work! (See see any talk of work inevitable drifts off to another topic!!)

oh i must mention i really enjoyed the interaction with my juniors at lanke. Its just so nice to see weiqi's still going on strong there, thx viet patrick phb ernest alan yiheng jiehao etc etc... yeah yeah. It reminds me of good times and the better me. The me i won't say i'm seeking, its the me that must simply stop hiding behind exciting vcds and thrilling little nothings and come out and tackle challenges. the attitude that yanjie displayed when i chatted with him for a short while that day. yeah. That go-getting, problem-solving spirit.

Of cuz this is cheap cheap talk. THe challenge is thurs night and friday. What 'd i do. Hide behind songci? or face the workload, and DARE TO DREAM OF THE As I SHOULD BE GETTING. AND CAN GET. GO GET IT, GO GETTER!