Of an ant and goldfish

Let me start with two short stories.

Once upon a time, there lived this goldfish, we'll call him Mr. Bobble. Why? thats because when he was brought to his new tank in some dude's aquarium, he was upside down and can't swim properly(duh),bobbling around and earning his 'Bobble'. Much to other's surprise, mr bobble could really bobble! He managed to snatched for food in the competitive tank with sheer WILLPOWER and miraculously recovered from his disease(surely u didn't think swimming upside down was natural)?

Months down the road, he's now called gobble bobble. Why? its cuz... he CAN'T gobble no longer. He swims the right way now, but he can't seem to lift himself up to the surface anymore, stagnating at the bottom and hoping the food flakes will swim to the bottom. With an occasional burst of strength, he'll WILL himself to the surface of water in hope of snatching some food. But cruely, the whirlpool called Pump merciless swipes his food away, and gobble Bobble falls right back down again. And what little scrapes of food that sank to the bottom he could not touch, for such was the way he's mouth was constructed : slightly upturned and inconvenient to forage for food at the bottom, no thanks to those beautiful rocks called Pebbles in his way.

Before long, Gobble Bobble starves to death.

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There lived this ant called Stick. No no, he was as thin as a stick, but thats not how he got his name. He was actually named... after his Idol! it was the Stick Insect. You see, this safety cautious Stick loved to imitate his Idol's ability to fit into the surroundings. Standing perfectly still, he'll blend into the surroundings and no one would notice him.

But of course, ants are a busy, hardworking lot. Stick was kept busy of cuz, but he was hardly hardworking. When fellow ants tolled to carry food back he'd follow, but only just; merely going through the motions of being the average worker ant. But he was happy. Being unambitious, its difficult to imagine him not happy.

Conflicts are not his way of life. He avoids them like the pesticide. Refusing to take up the slightest task, he won't plot paths for the ant march, decide what food to carry home, nor give suggestions as to what to do. He never fights for any leadership position, saying politely, "I don't mind, anything would do."

In truth, his favourite refrain is, "I don't care". But of cuz thats not what you'll hear him say in front of Senior ants. He wants to be accepted. So that faux pass, nah, he'll never commit. But listen carefully, and u 'll hear him utter that all-too-familiar phrase under his breath.

One day the ants carried some crunchy, all too delicious food home. Fellow ants scrambled, argued, and debated for their share. Stick stood still, standing well away from his commotion. "I'm an observer!" he beams. Thats what he prides himself on, and any chit chat with him, if he's in the mood, can turn into a MAJOR bitching session.

Of cuz, there've been ppl who tried to persuade him to change. Good old mr. gobble bobble from the last story, before his demise, was one such person. "Go for it bro, live your life. You see hermits? Yes these wise ppl hide from conflict of the world, but thats because they've seen all there is to life. 看透了。What about you? As you a retired F1 Champion or a faceless traveller stuck in some stuffy bus?"

But these advice fell on deaf ears.

Soon, the hustle and bustle died down. Stick snapped out of his recollection, and looked up. Gosh! His fellow ants have died! He rushed to check, and it seems the crunchy food brought back were in fact POISONOUS!

See! Stick thought to himself. Lucky i never get involved in squabbles. In the end get poisoned, for what lah. THe leader who lead the group to bring back this ant poison even more cham, even after dying, also will get scolded by future generations for bringing harm to his comrades!

True enough, as Stick thought, when the Elders and Seniors and the rest of the tribe converged, they condemned this Party leader, and decided to appoint a new leader to take charge of this profitable locale. But since all the other ants here are dead, there was only Stick who was familiar with this place.

True to his character, Stick politely declined all offers to be leader. Left without a choice, the Queen ant could only appoint a leader from the immigrants coming to inhabit this locale. However, no one knew what this place was like. What to do?

They said, 老马识路， and promptly appointed Stick as the guide.

And guess what, he didn't know how to do a single thing.

He told the new leader, "Be responsible!". After all, its YOU that's in charge isn't it? I'm just an old resident thats all.

oh how true.

And all these, Mr. Gobble Bobble witnessed before his death, in the dying moments as he lay at the bottom of the fish tank, he asked," isn't life perfectly CRUEL to me? I fought life with my outmost vigor, yet here i'm, soon to be DEAD."

Then he shook his head, his whole body, and did a Bobble one last time. " No no. I'm perfectly unfortunate, that is all. Life IS perfect. Just this death of mine. Perfectly Useless."

"But what about stick's Life? its the same as my death."

"Perfectly Useless!"

=The End=

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Ok i meant it to be 2 separate stories but as i went along i sorta linked it.

Yeah it was planned to be one being a real story, and another being my first attempt at Satire. Hardly Swift-like Gulliver Travels stuff, but hey i'm writing for the fun of it.

Nvm if u can't identify the real-life version of my characters cuz not all are based on real ppl. Some i just borrowed bits and pieces and oh yeah these stories, can really easily be manipulated to suit anything.

But then Mr. Stick, you know i'm talking about you.