Some Other Outlet

HELLO HELLO

2007-11-12T22:42:00.000+08:00

I've been saying HELLO HELLO recently instead of hello.

TOday's fun, at SPH and then actually helping fill up forms at MPS. Life's getting better. I'm.

whr am i

2007-10-19T22:34:00.000+08:00

haha this been pretty abandoned! long live handwritten diaries!

ok nvm here's smth funny i found lately:

----------------------------------------------5 Rules for Men to Follow to Have a Happy Life---
1. It is important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans and has a job.
2. It is important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It is important to have a woman whom you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important to have a woman who is 'talented' in the bedroom and who really likes to be with you.
5. It is very, very important that these four women don't know each other. :-)

rofl =)

I thought MSN knew my promos was not over

2007-09-25T21:24:00.000+08:00

Now that econs/lit/ki are all done, i'm tempted to slack today. Wanting to actually come online-and appearing online- for once. but hey, msn was down, and then i rmbred, thx to jia's sms, that math's on thursday and it surely isn't party time now.

But still, take a look at the moon, its beautiful.

Where are your legs?

2007-09-07T23:45:00.000+08:00

Actually, its not a $ problem, its a question of, without -ahem- parental funding, whr 'd you be?

A little comfort

2007-08-27T22:22:00.000+08:00

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” -buddha

and so i let slip. I have don't have much control over my mind at home, its always free to wander,free to think thoughts that i'd rather be reality. Problem, of cuz, is that thinking these thoughts do not make them reality. Quite the opposite, instead.

I've had some fun reading stuff on http://www.lifesucks.info/index.htm , might come across as offensive to some, but hey the author's not some angsty teen simply cussing, i mean, i've read and obviously the dude's educated. And + the content, its a worthwhile read.

Went quote hunting as well, i thought this was pretty sweet, though in a sad way:

鱼对水说你看不到我的眼泪，因为我在水里．水说我能感觉到你的眼泪，因为你在我心里。

so this is meant to be a no-work night. Lets hope it clears my mind.

YOU'VE BEEN REPLACED

2007-08-26T22:56:00.000+08:00

For now.

Bloggie, i suddenly like writing in my journal better. More privacy, or maybe it just feels more real. Not some cold hard screen.

Sorry, that sounds rather harsh. And the switch wasn't sudden neither, the log book i kept whilst at Cambridge just reminded me how nice it feels to write- for real.

Right now i'm fine, but not fine enough to make it to Cambridge- for real, once again- Cambridge's for the finest.

Now that i've got real, its time to get fine - no, finest.

uneventful

2007-08-03T05:25:00.000+08:00

Nothing much happened today,except i busted my heating rod by turning it out without water inside. Accident lah! overslept this morn and came down drowsy, and turned the heating rod on thinking it was the switch for the lap top.

Ok i'm still tired, really hope i'm not ill 'll catch some slp nite!

zzz

2007-08-02T03:36:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling tired now.

Tired, tired. Maybe its good, that means my workout this morn work. Or it could be bad, means my workout's not helping me cope with jetlag. No idea which's right, but gals sure have better stamina with such stuff.. must be the shopping.

Im tired and there's briefing soon andi know i need energy to make the most of my adventure here and i've not been doing it all so well i'll take a rest heh

p.s: Sunday's win still has a nice feel to it:)

capture the feeling and write

2007-07-24T22:39:00.000+08:00

season's over over over

i've won a medal from the bench, not the way i wanna win it but at least i got to play thx for giving me the chance to play i know its pretty much my fault but i got no idea whether i got it in me to push for one more.

===out===

the task at hand

2007-07-21T22:31:00.001+08:00

I think its really impt to focus on the task at hand each time. Yeah. so i better go focus on my next task heh ok this is a really lame post

now time's tight

2007-07-19T21:35:00.000+08:00

i've never left school in the middle of term for any activities before, so missing lessons is proving to be aa real challenge. Seems like i really cannot waste time. Skipped weiqi league last week, and only spent the day researching gym stuff. Oh no. As in , not that its unimportant, but that its not the priority now. gee.

So clear work, clear work, and clear more work, so i can really go and enjoy the trip.

Floorball, weiqi, gymming, we'll deal with them one at a time, when the time is right.

How do you get it off your chest

2007-07-15T22:41:00.000+08:00

Went gym with alwyn today, and the instructor there told us abt how we were doing it wrongly for Bench Press, and have screwed up our shoulders. Pretty scary thing really, since i've been gymming for more than a year, thats hell lot of time put not only to waste, but to damaging ur own body!

bothered me hell lot. Spents plenty of time today researching what to do abt it, by digging up MH and searching the net. Now my work schedule's screwed, and i dun have a definite answer. this doesn't sound good. Alright, night time then sleep and everything 'll be better someday sometime.

Do you call that selfish?

2007-07-12T21:23:00.000+08:00

I kinda feel i'm being a such a bitch thinking only abt myself after we lost this crucial game today, kinda reminds me of Lady Catherine De bourgh (from Pride and Prejudice) having 'I' 'I' and more 'I's in merely one paragraph which we went through today.

Ok, so gold's no longer in our hands, but i think we played pretty well today, and had put ourselves in a position to win a team that's really good themselves.

But like i said my thoughts have been filled with stuff abt myself so yeah it needs an outlet, doesnt it?

Its been pretty darn sian sitting on the bench when your team's winning, and it plain sucks to be there when ur losing, cuz u really want ur team to win, but u can't do nothing on the bench. But of cuz, its up to me to stake my claim on a position in the rotation. Players pretty much pick themselves with their own performances, and i'm absolutely thrilled that Monday will be my chance. Its in my hands now, i'm gonna plan my work such that ican afford to train plenty over the next 3 days. And i shall psyche myself up and go to bed dreaming of scoring goals, and preparing moves (dont get stuck in the middle no more!).

alright yeah and no, being benched is NOT ok just cuz i'm j1, i'm a player, i'm here to play. I think any self-respecting player wont turn up merely to make up the numbers.

I will play, and shine. Now, get down to work.

quick comments

2007-07-09T22:59:00.000+08:00

of course what i shld be doing now is hurry to sleep and hope this feeling in my throat doesn't develop to a full-fledge sore throat tmrw.

But some things to say. Last fri's friendly with teachers wasn't all that great, but one small events' still on my mind, after scoring in the game afterwards (informal), someone was saying "Raffles No. 6 scores" and hey it already felt good then, i so wanna replicate it for formal matches!!

Past few days have been rather good work wise, glad i churned the book extracts thingo out, but the distractions and deviations from plan still exists, like sat afternoon's nap, sunday morn's slacking and last nite's late nite.

But glad with my work ethic in sch today. Ok yes zijian's right this is so becoming a chronology of my life. ewwks no its like some self-improvement journal. Ok ok a pain to read, but hey its stuff i'd like to rmbr.

oh yes and 1 note to myself don't push everything to wkn! like pw stuff and reading of lit notes. Geesh. i dun want history to repeat. but then again, it always does :(

oh yes and it feels good to smell an A for once =D

The efficacy of library in stimulating work

2007-07-04T22:53:00.000+08:00

read A streetcar named desire today. Whheee on plan on plan. But doubt there'll be time for its commentary, just gonna read Great Gatsby tmrw.

Got B for math =( didn't like some comments i heard as well.

Floorball was encouraging. Awareness, i need court awareness. And calmness too. I can almost see myself meditating in the middle of the court, right before match starts.

Alright hurry along, time's ticking away.

Not really

2007-07-02T23:02:00.000+08:00

Cant say everything went as planned.

Hit the gym, room's packed, worked on skipping and floorball, BUT P&P NOT DONE!!! in its place was reading weiqi magazine, omg nie weiping's the real deal, his comments are so illuminating.

+ an afternoon nap.

Rather scared i can't get to slp later, and screw things up tmrw. Rmbr, training now is as impt as match!

So i'll sleep. Nitey!

everything as planned

2007-07-01T23:11:00.000+08:00

Games like the one against Zhaobin today, are the ones to remember.

A tough battle throughout (actually, i let a lead slip, eeww, but nvm i made him let slip his lead a well) and a 0.5pts win, classic. For me at least, of cuz to pros its like, TERRIBLE game, full of errors here and there, but then again errors create drama, and drama is the stuff memorable games are made of.

Did only 2 chapters of P&P instead of 3, and floorball shooting was pretty embarrassing.

Keep going, its ur life, work with it :)

Tmrw's plan: gym in the morning, and 1 chapter of P&P (that brings me to chapter 15) before lunch. Thereafter, 2 chapters of P&P (now we're at 17), then packing of room! Then in my CLEAN and TIDY room do 2 more chapters and we're at 19 and its time to PLAY. So do the skipping and floorball then it'll be about dinner time. After dinner do 1 last P&P, then its time for a review of the past 6 months and planning ahead! Then pack bag and sleep, by 11 :)

Ok i know its terribly boring to narrate everything out. So maybe by tmrw i can drop by and proudly declare, "everything as planned"

A bagfull of problems

2007-06-30T22:48:00.000+08:00

My flossed teeth's killing me. Ok, its not that bad now, but it was 15min ago. I'm coughing, and with the season just a week away, thats bad, bad news. And my sem. 1 Pride and Prejudice journal's still uncompleted. 11chapters! And my control of my life, not there. Oh, and my room's still unpacked.

These 2 days have been mighty fine. Went vivo to watch Zodiac at cineme europa with ben hx and zijian, then chenz came and we had dinner and played Air hockey, pool, table soccer and some boxing thing at adidas.

Then i came back, chat, and got so caught up reading abt zodiac that when i slept, the clock showed 2.40 AM.

No wonder i'm coughing.

Nights with trouble getting to sleep is the norm for cts, but ireally gotta shake it off now.

Today was fun. After some time out, weiqi and even its sihuotis are enjoyable again. Had a haircut, and watched Transformers with chuah and his fren +cousin. Gee. I was rather suprised when my watch show 9pm by the end of it. It felt as if the day had only just begun.

So, what's next?

I need a plan of cuz. I've been saying i'd do it for a LONG time, but i really gotta work on my "The Way Forward". Yeah i'm weird, but such stuff is really neccessary for me to get cracking.

Tmrw's start of weiqi league, and if i feel fine(no cough), 'd be hitting the gym in the morn(and test my Concise Workout) and take my DS and WS, and league's till 6 so thats evening gone as well... but hey, no pushing work back! here's the deal : either pack my room tmrw, or complete at least 3 chapters of journal.

And i just found a poem of mine in my thumbdrive. dated 10th feb last year. i wonder what inspired it. omg its not bad, OK better than anything i've written this year at least. ok i'll go search my blog to see if i can find what inspired it. cya!

What 'll make you happy?

2007-06-27T21:04:00.000+08:00

I've realised, my mood has really been swinging these days.

Don't have the stability i used to enjoy. No plans for the future as well. Just, season, then cambridge, full-stop. Bleah. I must find a constant to fill the gap in me. Fball not gonna do it, gals arent and weiqi is only a painkiller.

Hahaha sounds very serious right? I don't think its that bad, that just over the 1st half of the yr everything i do seems at best half-successful. Now i dont seem to be planning anymore, seem to have lost the belief. Antidote?

SPRING CLEANING!! hahaha got the idea when i swept the floor today. Yeah clean out the mess, might have +ve effect on my mood. We'll talk abt planning again then.

new direction

2007-06-26T21:02:00.000+08:00

Got my new stick ytd.

Spent plenty of time viewing fball video last wk, and with my new stick ytd my mind was on the game again, nvm the cts.

Anyway, i've thought things through, including whether to post it here or not, but decided to go ahead anyway since 1)nobody comes here anyway 2)its true.

Ok its no secret i had wanted to be capt of fball. Wanted it, wanted it BADLY.But now i've thought things thru, and since i can't be the next jon muk (as in, his captainship, not other stuff), if i continue with fball next season, i'll want to be a combination of Bennett and Hakeem. Bennett tong for his knowledge and dedication, hakeem for his goalscoring and superstardom. When he shoots, he expects to score, u can see it in his eyes, and one day u'll find it in mine.

Of cuz, ive not been so caught up with myself not to realise that 1) This season hasn't even begun yet 2)i've only scored 1 puny goal so far. So of cuz, the focus is on this season. Next mon's training is crucial, the last 1 before matchday, and the last chance to make a case(not verbally, of cuz) for game time.

And training starts tmrw! at home, i mean.

Worked with my stick today too, trying to hit the toilet roll thingy(sans the toilet paper) from a distance of abt 28cm X20. Hmm awful result, wrist shot was 1/50, till i put 2 toilet rolls side by side instead, and ended with 6/100 --->6%!!!!

Drag shot was better, or maybe i had just gotten the hang of shooting. 10/77 --->12%DOUBLE!!! wahaha i know i know, 12%'s awful too, but it's just the beginning, i'll get better. Watch.

Oh and a little abt the new Master stick. I know i know, 2006 series is OLD, 2008's coming out soon, but its daddy's gift and i'll treasure it. Alright, turns out its as long as Enemy, against my wishes of getting a shorter stick, and its circle rather than oval as i'm used to. But the grip's alot nicer, and the blade's softer, the shape makes ball control easier. Oh and the flex suits me better, Enemy was like some rigid dude. But oh show him some love, he's served me well.

Ok math ct was ok, predicted score: B-A. Econs wasn't good, prediction: C-B

Lit? better don't get D, hahaha.

Have you got Game?

2007-06-22T23:17:00.000+08:00

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity

To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment

Would you capture it or just let it slip?

From "Lose Yourself" by Eminem.

You cant just capture it just by wanting to.

Not even by wanting ENOUGH.

But do i even want it enough?

Besides, skill counts too.

Have you got Game?

wasted

2007-06-18T17:06:00.000+08:00

My wkn was wasted. Revision plan put to waste. Now lets put things right.

no, i did study

2007-06-16T23:21:00.000+08:00

why am i blogging so late?

TOday's supposed to be rest day; i had only rested for 1 full day (2nd day of lanke) this entire month. Supposed to be a rest day, yet i'm sleeping so late. eeks.

And just some pw work done today only. Whrs the reorganising of plans?

guess i'll do it tmrw.

For the record, i did study this week, meeting daily with ben and chenz till thurs.

but few hours aint enough. Hardcore starts... tmrw! or, realistically, monday heh

resolve to do it

2007-06-09T19:08:00.000+08:00

only 1 purpose here

till i have started studying for 3 days straight, no blogging.

taking stock

2007-06-05T23:32:00.000+08:00

why am i blogging so late when i decided i need to sleep early for tmrw?

cuz i decided not to wake up early and rush lit and waste mrs P's time marking an essay which i'm wholly unprepared for. And had had plenty of time to do so.

In a nutshell, my holi's been good for everything but work.

Ok, not perfect in others. Didn't actually do any plyo workouts as planned, and only got JC Performance prize (read:13th-15th) in Lanke. But at least i kept to my gym workouts and finished them with tabata, did my runs and trained floorball till 12am in the dark, lonely dressing room of my hall's function hall last wed nite. ooo that was memorable..And yeah, i finally made the team. Weiqi wise i actually felt i played well at Lanke, though no memorable wins before i take a break, but the quality of my games were satisfactory in my eyes. My middlegame needs to be worked on, i know, i'll tackle it after my break.

Yes i'm taking a break from weiqi to concentrate on floorball and studies. Neither looks particularly promising.

Havent actually practised fball on my own after making the team. Now that chenz gone, seem to have lost a fren in the team. Jill's talk abt team as family is in the right direction, but as a team it'll take time before we can arrive at that destination. And the desire to excel, i must find that again. can't only hardcore when the threat of getting cut stares me in the eye. No, must push myself nonetheless. I'm not here to make up the numbers. I'm here to play and contribute. Be Wonderful and Worthwhile!

Studies... haiz i planned to do this lit essay LAST FRI!!! then push to monday. then tuesday. Song ci vcd is too thrilling for my own good. I love all these detective-type story, nvm that song ci is actually a forensic scientist of ancient times. Its all this deductive work, i'm seduced by 'em. No wonder i was such a fan of sir arthur conan doyle in the past. One day i must plunge into the complete collections of his work! (See see any talk of work inevitable drifts off to another topic!!)

oh i must mention i really enjoyed the interaction with my juniors at lanke. Its just so nice to see weiqi's still going on strong there, thx viet patrick phb ernest alan yiheng jiehao etc etc... yeah yeah. It reminds me of good times and the better me. The me i won't say i'm seeking, its the me that must simply stop hiding behind exciting vcds and thrilling little nothings and come out and tackle challenges. the attitude that yanjie displayed when i chatted with him for a short while that day. yeah. That go-getting, problem-solving spirit.

Of cuz this is cheap cheap talk. THe challenge is thurs night and friday. What 'd i do. Hide behind songci? or face the workload, and DARE TO DREAM OF THE As I SHOULD BE GETTING. AND CAN GET. GO GET IT, GO GETTER!

difficult

2007-05-27T18:08:00.000+08:00

of course i know i need a plan.

And i know Study is Priority No. 1.

But it isn't a very interesting no.1 to work with (and around).

some boring stuff

2007-05-19T00:34:00.000+08:00

I think the bad thing about smth good is that i think too much about it, and have no time to do it instead.

Spent the last hour thinking abt weiqi, looking thru old files and magz, but really i must ask, is this the best way for me to train? I'm pretty sure the answer is no, cuz my ji suan and sensitivity to shape is the one that needs work.

Feel comfortable with my weiqi recently. Just comfy with the way my games are going, though not the sudden-oversight-and-game-over part of it. But the overall feeling is still... well... comfortable. Sorry lah, not much vocab on display tonight. Phil said my style belongs to the 均衡type, and itll be easier to improve playing like that. I think thats good, cuz its like the mood i'm feeling right now? Not sure if i make sense. Oh but anyway i haven't really been displaying the all-out killing style i did for a short while in sec3 for 2 years now. That time when i was playing handi games with breakfast so often and got past the 5 and 4 handi games but utilising thickness to attack.

Nah. I'm more comfy the way i'm now.

Oh, but physically its not that way. Call me vain, but i looked at the mirror recently and think i need work again. Like, 2 weeks of working out isnt the only thing. My diet, i've been slack lately. Terribly slack. No more abalone noodles and snacks from now onwards! I think someone said it right, the reason stars are hot is cuz they got a deadline from directors when they must show off their top, so they have a deadline to work towards. So i'm gonna declare... actually, no i'm not gonna declare anything, cuz june is only a month long and there're cts to study for, weiqi to train, floorball to train and that includes hardcoring cardio cuz i do need fitness.

oh speaking of floorball went to shoot alone for an hour or so on tues and i think i finally sorted out my shooting problem. What do u look at when u shoot? the ball, or the target? Yes, target works well when i hit a dead ball, but what happens when i'm on the move? Ball? yeah i connect with the ball, but whr does it go? What about placement?

Answer, silly, is to look at BOTH.haha stupid me, couldn't even figure this simple thing out. There's such thing are peripheral vision, heard of? hahaha i felt so glad on thurs night feeling its such a constructive day i did no work at all.

Ive been some lazy piggy this week, sleeping my afternoon away and spending more time on the bed before starting work than the actual amt of time i spend studying itself.

KI ct is coming this wed, and my lagging for math & lit are major concerns as well. And they're bigger problems because i acknowledge they're a problem but never ever go about resolving them. As if waiting and sitting around will solve anything.

Tmrw when i wake up, please let me have some cow sense to spend the 2 days properly.

gym yes weiqi yes floorball yes, but after work's done.

night.

Purchasing Pika

2007-05-12T23:26:00.000+08:00

hahaha i took so long to notice that the blogging part has slipped to the bottom of the page! i thought blogger was down the past few days.

I think i'm recovering from stomach flu already, and on hindsight the illness could not have come at a better time, after all the cca debacle i surely needed an excuse to sleep the sorrow away, and have a ready reminder that there 're worse things in life than those that just happened, and not having a healthy body is one of those.

Which is why its rather sad that mommy will spend Mother's day ill and so 'll dad. They're both sick, one day after another! and both with the same symptoms as i had. family disease, huh.

and guess what, the electricity's gonna be out tmrw as ntu checks it power station.

Pikachu, i choose you!

THUNDERBOLT!!!!!

right again

2007-05-02T23:36:00.000+08:00

yes zijian my posts are getting so cryptic in a bad way that it just points to a troubled mind. And my dp really is so un-me. Like, before this pic, since when did i put a gal up there? Looks more like a dp you'd put up, lew.

So its back to a weiqi dp and a more straightforward blog post.

无官一身清 i think i must use this carefreeness more, now that after some hours at math i know i can still study.its a good feeling, to know you are still capable of work. Esp since more 'll soon be piled on me lol.

ok nuff of this, everything's back to normal... and more!

correct

2007-05-01T18:54:00.000+08:00

I'm taking a little timeout from my fightback to clear work backlog to say:

Mommy's right! I really ought not to "think so much". These 2 years will pass real fast.

Stop being neurotic and overamplifying my own problems. Maybe like the japanese drama i saw yrs ago, i should go lie on the field and gaze and at stars. And maybe then i'll realise, how small and insignificant humans are in this big, big world. No, its UNIVERSE.

So chill and take things easy, if nothing else there's always mommy.

=)

p.s When's mother's day?!

as Reality ravishes my reality

2007-04-30T22:14:00.000+08:00

I've puked twice today, but it is the least of my concerns.

Decisions, decisions. I have to make a choice, don't I?Neither of which suscribes to my original plan, nor would leave me much satisfied.

If you don't get what you like, you gotta like what you get. But i've got some trouble walking the talk.

Maybe no amt of work done, can reverse a decision made back some months. Did it all go to waste? I think so. 'd it have helped if i had earlier known? I don't know.

Maybe to tackle 2 things at once was the original mistake.

I don't know, don't ask me, i'm all question marks myself.

tired, but..

2007-04-27T22:30:00.000+08:00

I'm so near dreamworld, cuz i'm so near my bed, cuz unread emails containing work stare at me as i stare at my laptop, and time's ticking by.

Im still feeling remnant happiness from adventure camp, so lemme clear the bad stuff first.I know i messed my work up big time. Econs test and math test were both failures. Like literally.

Interhouse weiqi i lost my temper again. I don't know why, i was really freaked out thinking about it after it, cuz i'm afraid i'm losing my self control.

I didnt like the tourney atmosphere. Please take the game seriously. It's an art-form, not some silly event for ya'll to rack up free-frag points,and create a ruckus. I will never allow a weiqi tourney i organise to be run this way. Cuz i love the game. Do you?

A trophy is scant compensation.

changing the topic, i thoroughly enjoyed adv camp.thx thx. Dairy farm really rocks haha its really like chalet lol. I enjoyed the climbing stuff, thx to those frm my group, the atmosphere was right, encouragement and all. The outdoor artwork today was so emo, but i'm glad to know ppl better. I mean, for those who did it seriously lah. But of cuz if u go and say smth generic its fine, but ur just not maximising ur time.

Highlight has to be the hike back. 4 hours, 7km, heavy rain. HC walter aaron geri grace me we made it! yayness man. And the hike itself, i think i was at my most chatty heh. Although thats quite rare and not much heh but nice talking to grace abt her eskimo blood and finding out from mr koh abt the army, though its not like smth i'm like looking forward to lol.

Oh yeah and thx guys , the guys in the bunk. Makes me feel its ri times again. Guys just communicate differently, its great to be back in one's comfort zone again, even if its only for a day and a half.

challenges lie ahead. of cuz.

and i do get snubbed. Like getting weiqi capt for weiqi despite running for chair.

ok ok okk. lemme sleep. And may i just dream the good stuff.

stuff.

2007-04-21T22:13:00.000+08:00

yah i know i'm getting quite crazy.

Crazy with my scheduling.

This bullshit abt doing ki hw, math hw, math rev for test(unrelated to math hw) and econs test prep tmrw is pure madness.

Add to the fact that i 'm also planning to hit the gym tmrw to burn off the EXTRA EXTRA calories i piled on today. Oh, and there's ms singapore tmrw.

Now, pausing this whiny shit for a moment, lets look at my last 2 days, and what caused this major overload.

Fri morn woke early to do Yeats poem. At least my sleep @ 11 is working yay.

Evening interview's delay really got to me. Starting at 7.30 when given a 6.15 slot doesnt say very good things about an organisation's organisation. And to have an accusation thrown at you in such a tone during interview by your very own senior who missed a tournament you urge clubmates to go for kinda blew the lid off my fury.

Damn.I'm letting my past accomplishments get to me. Temper, temper, u better not get undone on monday. Rmbr, ur all good and great, but be humble, cuz u need them more than they need you. And you really want it.

Then this whole episode got me into this chatty mode so i spammed msn. It's great, really. old 'comrade', old email fren and old fren-whom-i-once-wished-was-more-than-frens. talking abt NOW. Old. yeah. oldness gives me a sense of familarity, a grasp of something concrete. I like that feeling.

Oh and jiaxi thx for ur support hahaha, backing me up during ur interview. Thx thx.

And today was SMASH (Science & Math Are So Happening! cool name huh) trail at sentosa. Underwater world was beautiful! i'm in love with Sea Angels oh my. All i lacked was a cam! And after attending debrief by the snrs, i think im really not cut out for these stuff, at least on the comm level. No wonder the j2s are all gals. The amt of liason and detail req, doesn't quite suit my personality. But hey, i want to play a part somehow, cuz its pure good fun. Kids, hope you enjoyed yourselves! I certainly did =)

And ha i had my first Macs in years. so nice of ya'll to laugh at me, alex debbie dawn.ADD for short. haha. like how kim tho laugh at my not knowing how to order subway earlier this year.Now i know how to eat apple pie! Not that i liked it very much though. not like subway. Sub's healthier.

Oh and tonight i had prata and satay for supper. Wise-ass me. I so have to burn 'em calories off tmrw. Today is the day to sin, food-wise.

Today i'm gonna start a series of files. When it does actually get me somewhere, maybe i'll talk more abt it.

Next thurs/fri is adventure camp! My sch ends on tues, as far as im concerned lol.

Chiong arh. Its 11, but my stomach's os bloated i can't sleep. ok i'll write me files. cya ppl. By that, i guess it just means zijian and jin lol, this poor 2-reader blog of mine. But at least it's read by old frens. Gives a sense of familarity, something concrete that i can grasp. I like that.

the mega problem

2007-04-18T23:03:00.000+08:00

If i were to pick out smth wrong with my life now, its has to be - studies!

Yeah, the others aren't doing too well neither.

Aint had much time for weiqi. Haven't been keeping up with the problems, and only played my 2nd game of the week today (lesson's tmrw!). Plus i won't be able to make it for this wkn's selection since i got this science and math trail thing.

Floorball isnt too good. As (perhaps overly and too clearly ) pointed out by jon muk on monday, too many aspects of my game is weak. Shooting, passing, receiving, defending, game sense etc .And stickwork. U name it, it needs to be improved.

See. My 2 ccas ain't doing good. And i'm still thinking of committing more to boon lay youth club. Cut back bro, cut back, look at ur grades.

Got a 14.5/25 for lit essay. Damn. And thats not the bad thing. My whole plan of revision for math today (chap 2&3) ended up being chap 2, half done. Afternoon was supposed to be chap 3. Ended up playing floorball. After youth club meeting was supposed to be studying as well. Once again, floorball. Tonight had some time, wanted to pack bag. End up reading book. After that, had 3 hours. supposed to be 1hour for weiqi 2 hours for mc's essay. End up squandering all on weiqi.

Now i'll be rushing an essay right before the deadline again.

oh and napfa 10.43, A-less. Damn. Haha trust alwyn to say, how come u lose to auyong, everyone's talking abt it. Yeah i know its not everyone, but yeah i get the surprise factor. I wanted to say, if in 2 weeks time i don't clear 10.30, even if i get the capt post i won't take it. But then again i know my head's too muddy, i don't want to say no silly things.

I need the discipline to do work. Simple as that.

Postives of the week? I've been getting myself to sleep at 11. At least thats a good thing. But not amazingly good i concede. Nothing to celebrate abt.

What to celebrate abt?

When i get A for math and A for Econs next week.

Now that's something =)

figuring

2007-04-11T20:50:00.000+08:00

nothing that's bad, nothing's that good.

I'm sorting stuff out.

Can i really handle it all? Work, weiqi and floorball isn't as easy as i thought. Maybe that's cuz i'm not as disciplined as i thought i was.

Do i really 'cut a lonely figure'. I should think so. Credit alwyn for his keen observation and willingness to tell me that. True frens tell the truth, too many white lies falsify a frenship.

Should i set out to address that? Or maybe its a case of too little, too late.

Or perhaps simply the need to go "somewhere i belong".

All these 'd be manageable, if only these 2 years weren't the last of my schoolboy days. Yeah yeah there's uni but its different. Maybe it's just the uniforms. Or maybe not.

I'm just rotating 'Its my life" & "you give love a bad name" (both by bon jovi) and "zombie"(cranberries) in my playlist now. And reading 'The Game'.

how sad.

or maybe not.

pity the juices don't flow

2007-04-08T23:40:00.000+08:00

maybe its cuz i havent blogged in a long while, can't seem to write nice and lyrical. Hell, i can't even think of a decent title.

This's been a dinner's-out-everyday week, save for thurs, sat today. Ok, thats not alot , but for me yeah it is.

Tues went to watch TMNT with chenz ben huixiang, then chat for hours after dinner. With elections results out and us not meeting for a long time, plenty to talk about.

Wed after pt went for local uni talk. Really big decision, kinda wanna save the big bucks for grad sch, but then again after years in the raffles family, going to local U now will kinda lose the glam factor. Yeah our local unis are good, but still it ain't Yales nor Harvard. And among the 3 unis which to choose? I like SMU, but it has no double degrees and no campus. Ntu i've stayed all my life, i'd really want my uni life to be smth different and exciting. Nus? haven't heard much abt it, 'll probably find out more as time goes by.

Fri hongjie treated the 8 of us to fish and co, then we went LANing. Haven't lanned in like a year? Oh my how everybody grown. We've progressed from talking gaming to talking gals to talking politics and gals. Time flys by , and its flying faster.

After that went to hunt for new shoes but went from outlet to outlet, but none of the world of sports had my size.So i decided to go search for a book instead. The search led me to borders, and after buying books whee upstairs had Nike, which had the ronaldinho series which i bought.

Ok this is no distorted, no time to talk abt the book i bought. Kk i shall get off gambling on Tom weiqi and go to sleep. Till next time.

Get out of that hole, you

2007-03-25T22:58:00.000+08:00

As an afterthought, slacking off last week probably wasn't too good an idea.

After crashing out of the race to rep sg in world ama youth go championship, then having floorball for 3 days in a row (1 training session whr coach cut ppl, 1 friendly and 1 day of 3 on 3 tournament) and picking up a back injury along the way, sidelining me for the rest of the holi with nothing to do but hw and nothing to dwell upon but failure.

So i decided Term 2 Week1 will be my holiday, Version 2.0 --> bad idea.

Actually, it wasn't ridiculous to take week 1 easy. After all, there was no official floorball training and no essays in the periphery. But 2 sessions of floorball-for-fun, a swim and pool outing(with who else but good ol ben and chenz), a botched p6 class gather and a canoe PT later, i'm in a deeper hole than before.

No no i'm not up to my neck with homework. Just that the winner, go-getter mentality that i thought i possessed, simply cannot be located.

Same story last night after weiqi and this whole morn and afternoon. Doodling away precious time. So i canned my workout this evening and set about planning a weekly timetable.

I've done it many times before, and it seldom succeeds. But what it does is to get me into this strict mode of thinking, instilling discipline and considering the worth of every minute i spent. i know i can afford to be laxer than what my schedule dictates, but i'll follow strictly for this week, just to get the mindset back.

We'll see how things go.

I'm all for it, high-intensity stuff. Make the most of every minute, make ém count, cuz the clock's ticking away and i'll be out of time, so go , get something done.

You know the Deal

2007-03-11T22:21:00.000+08:00

You know the deal, don't ya.

Win and you're in. You win, you're in, simple. No screwed up refs, no home court (dis)advantage, bad weather, teammates messing up etc. Time pressure? Yeah. But it's still simple enough, you win, you're in.

So what if you don't?

First it's a blank. All blank.Emo-ness building, but ur all blank.

Then the emo buld-up builds to the point, where if i were an ahbeng, i'd head to some to some smoky join and pick a fight. But i'm more cultured than that. Nearly cultured enough, in fact, to pick up my lit and read Pride and Prejudice. But not quite neither.

So here i am, wasting my night away in front of the tv and my laptop.

It's 0-2 so far, 0 for vj symposium and 0 for weiqi.

oh 1 for floorball tmrw.

and maybe that's easier than contemplating between whether to call time on it, when its time to move on, or head towards ending with a bang... rather than a whimper.

give me a whiff of victory, i wanna hunt one down.

Here it is, my baby

2007-03-03T10:18:00.000+08:00

MY FLOORBALL STICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok now it looks weird cuz of its blade but who cares it MY baby haha sorry baby for bending u so ugly, but nvm i'll win with u all the same :)

oh baby should i give u a name?

ANyway it was gd ytd scoring in both games (recre game and game vs alumni) heh but i know i played badly in both, didn't run back to help in defence and was pretty much outclassed vs the alumni. I think gymming in the morn and bball in the afternoon did take its toll after all, the skin at the bottom of my feet are peeling! Aiyah they'll adapt anyway. i must go play more fball against better players, better to lose now than later!

On a separate note, this whole RJC this has been such a learning journey for me, observing the diff btwn guys and gals. I'll watch and learn, watch and learn, so losses meanwhile? Tuition fees :)

I love this wk, but wait till the wkn

2007-02-28T21:46:00.000+08:00

Its been great this wk, back to health and all. Great playing floorball again. Great scoring, great creating, though aching on tues prevented gymming, and some late nite inspiration on tues prevented rest and resulted in more aching today.

I love to be back to exercising and all and today i got some stuff off my chest thats good the prognosis is bad but at least its done and over with.

Just that this wkn i better clear the work which i've conveniently pushed to it. :P

oh and, get over the video of Cutie Honey, whether by Koda kumi or Ayumi lee heh.

And back into the rhythm

2007-02-24T19:19:00.000+08:00

i think i'm getting my health back.

Practising floorball on fri sure helped.

But the laziness's set in, i don't wanna do no work.

Eeew. THis cannot continue.

Study study study.

Please study, and all 'll be fine.

休息，是为了要走更长远的路

2007-02-21T21:49:00.000+08:00

been sick for 7days, and counting.

Spent lots of time watching vcd, a china drama about SongCi omg so interesting i watched when my dad watched at episode 40+, now that the thing's finished, i 'm starting from the start!

ok i'll return to sch tmrw. Maybe some work 'll do me good.

ages

2007-02-11T22:42:00.000+08:00

its been ages since my last post. Like more than a week?

The last post was the day after i aced floorball trials. Then a week later i'm "not good enough but i want to see you again", and whee now i'm in comp team :) Last wed was Humans interview as well, which was really nice chit chatting with the interviewers (25min!!), so i guess i wasn't really in the tough mental state req. for sports. Oh yeah that wed nite went to watch soccer at kallang and hang out with chenz og again, coolio.

That wkn had humanz party.was on um 3rd feb, just to note the date cuz i can't really when's when. Oh um nice chit chatting on the way to the beach after that. Oh and i wasn't drunk, damnnit.

This week's mon-wed was like intensive floorball training? Ali and nigel, thx for training with me, damn i really wished ya'll got in as well. Oh well, life's like that.

This wkn had dan upgrading. I concede, my weiqi's in bad shape.

Ugh i had plenty to write, but now end up like that. Guess u just have gotta write when the feel's there, otherwise it'll be simple recording of history.

Ok things that i better squeeze into my schedule nxt wk:

- Revision for math test on thurs. 1st one must pwn!
-Pride and prejudice. When am i ever finishing it?
-more sihuo everyday. Damn i suck.
-More games with phil. yeah MUST.
-go thru phil's research files. Oh no i must revise or i'll forget ><

thats it, 1 week, plenty to do. lets go!

dead

2007-01-25T22:02:00.000+08:00

I can't believe my HP just died for good. I thought it could last till the contract was up. Oh well.

This week's been a busy one. Slightly less productive than last week whr i finished the KI book. Still got a long way to go with pride and prejudice.

Ytd gotta be the highlight of the week, the floorball trials. OMG i really put in my all and last night it was hard to get to sleep, being in a state of heightened awareness throughout the trials.

Suffering from fatigue today. did pretty badly at pe and was tired overall today. But at least wasn't as tired at weiqi this wk as i was in the last.

Skipped gym today, gg tmrw instead.

I think its high time i give myself an early night. nitey.

smile

2007-01-21T22:06:00.000+08:00

hit the gym again today.

Finally did 7reps of 16.25 kg on each side for bench press... which means... increasing to 17.5! Next 'll be 18.75... then 20 and i'm lifting my body weight wohoo!!!!!!!! =D

And i'm finally smiling again. I know i feel happy, but the mirrors in the gym made me realise i wasn't expressing it. Eye contact wise, i'm not making as much as i did before. I dunno why. Socially retracting?

Ytd went to watch the play "Everything but the Brain"(again, shall i add. watched it few yrs ago, and not much difference) felt rather awkward seeing everyone in clothing not called sch-u. Maybe its a blessing that jc got uniform. Fussing over dressing, which i had lots of fun with in the holis, seems so dreadful now. I dunno why.

Just smile.

cuz happiness is a decision.

Must decide to be happy and smile more, make more eye contact, because life's only gonna get more hectic and joy must be found somewhere.

And for the first time in a long while, i'm getting it from sihuoti. Just decided to screw the idea of filling all four corners with questions. Rather, i focus on one at a time and make sure i get it right. Its paying off. whee.

So be happy. Smile.

once a week thing

2007-01-20T10:22:00.000+08:00

This is fast becoming a once-a-week only blog.

Pretty good week. feels like i've made the right choices with subj combi, enjoying my lessons alot. One thing abt the KI book though, when i'm wide awake its really interesting cuz i'll have the energy to really consider the ideas. But when i'm tired, its a bore, cuz i can't follow.

Weiqi's been pretty bad though. Can't set aside enough time for sihuoti, and phil mentioned that i looked too tired at lessons, which makes it less effective. So now we've rescheduled lessons(i have a slack day before, so i can grab enough sleep), changed games to online ones(saves time) and i've decided to wake half an hour earlier each day to do sihuoti. Hope it helps.

Went gymwith Ali on tues and he was telling me abt the various tryouts he went for, RP, soccer and what not, so i realised i oughta get out there and have some fun as well, so wed was spent on vball and frisbee clinics. Ytd attended floorball.

I think ultimately i'll stick with my original choice of floorball & Weiqi as ccas, frisbee as backup for floorball and vball just for fun. Just that hongjie junwei etc are at vball as well, which kinda makes me wanna join.

But floorball's nice as well. Huixiang hz prasatt arvind S yongqian mark nigel all joining as well, so even if ben and chenz decide to switch to vball i think its still ok. Besides, their season is in July, whereas vball season is in March, so the chances of making the team for floorball is much higher.

Been making good use of time between periods rushing work, at the risk of looking antisocial. Which is why it piques me whenever i waste time on television after i get home.

Oh. But i still love playing weiqi and hitting the gym. these are my leisure activities, man.

Thats a huge part of my life. yeah, i've got one :)

泰山崩于前而色不变

2007-01-13T22:29:00.000+08:00

This week passed so fast i can't rmbr what happened.

But it's too valuable to forget just like that, so i'll try to recall with the help of my timetable later.

Lets talk abt today first.

Due to Rj's timetable that strangely doesn't run by the hour, had a tough time timetabling this morn. Thats not the only trouble though. Its that, there are FAR too many uncertainties for me to plan anything meaningful. When do i have my Weiqi Lessons? That can be answered tmrw when i meet phil. What 'll the workload be like? I'll know soon enough. When will i do maths tutorial & humans essay? Crap u mean i still have work undone!? And how will i fit floorball training in? gee i dare not think.

I guess i could sense i was really stressed and on my way to the gym i was trying to think thoughts that 'd keep me calm and cool and regain my peace of mind. Then i remembered tph once said the phrase: 泰山崩于前而色不变. yes yes yes exactly! Whatever comes next week will just come and go. Things will take care of themselves. I ought not be overaffected. Surely i can keep my mind clear and enjoy One Last Dance tmrw.

Ok now for a recap of the week:

Monday- Last day of orientation. I recall waking up in a poetic mood and thought of many stuff to write for the little notes that 'd be passed to my fellow og mates in the evening. Hmm what else do i recall. Oh yes War Games! First one was Ultimate Tag which was fun, since this mini walkaround was like a good chance to meet up with old frens and chat. Only tagged one stranger the whole session though heh.

2nd one was the pacman-inspired game. Was pretty lost throughout this one though, not mentioning fretting over why our hands had to be tied with our partner's , and why mine didn't want hers tied with mine :p

3rd was where we had to have our legs tied together and then hop around and then throw newspaper into the container which, after gathering enough weight, 'd propel our house flag up into the air. This one was good heh thx Pris Lim for hopping arnd with me and helping squash paper for me to throw :)

Had prep for Onite thereafter. Gee why didn't we take pics of our costume ><

Onite itself was FUNNNN. There was dancing of cuz, i think neither Pris nor i knew what the Cha Cha move was all abt but heck it was fun :) Oh then had a switch of partners and danced for Jean for awhile and hey it oughta be such a relief for her lor, finally being able to spin properly :) See good partners help.

The rest of the programme was really funny as well! Must have spent lotsa time planning it, the ogls.

Went Mos burger for supper after that. Batch song & all was nice of cuz, but i'm starting to miss "Hand in Hand". RI batch of 06, u hear me!

Tuesday- Tuesday's the day full of lectures aiyoyoyoyo so many in a row bleah. Aiyo honestly i can't rmbr what happened on Tuesday!!I probably went back and hit the gym though.

Wednesday- Had only history at 3rd block which i dun take, which means free except for CCA fest in the afternoon. Joined Henry to play badminton and ended up finding his og so homely hahaha cuz had so many ppl i knew, like kian peng anwaar borray and especially fiq and chenz lol and the other peeps are frenly as well, ivan shuqi nicola alina darren. See. i know like half of the og lol.

Played bball with my civics class thereafter but not very good bonding session lah, bleah cuz not many play ball but weishan and ai qing actually thrashed me and HC >< aiyo give chance also cannot give until like that lah!

After CCA feste went with my adopted og again, played around then decided to do maths but the place was sooo windy. So ended up having a nice chat instead lol.

Thursday - Lectures ended early, went ri library to do maths and saw ben ong, junwei and walter there. Oh my, we nostalgic rafflesians.

Met up with my chess club successor viet for lunch and jiahong was there too. Nice seeing someone undertake the path i had just went through, with the vigour and enthusiasm to match as well as a good snr to outdo!

Planned to head right to the gym but it was pouring and i met nicola & shuqi so joined them, then went to their og and we borrowed stuff from council room to play. Nicola lost taboo badly and we had a nice time grilling her but hey i keep secrets k so what's said is confidential =)

Went to the gym in the late evening instead whee hardcore.

Friday- Played weiqi with ppl from my class but gee not fun!! haha ladies lets play wu zi qi instead. Oh yeah and there's a wu zi qi cca as well gee i'm so surprised!!

Haha its so funny when i went to Weiqi CCA 2 gals asked me, "do you have a brother? There's one year one who looks exactly like you!". I'm like, "um.. i'm year one" o.O

Crashed bridge but didn't learn much. Pet Pet u sooo gotta teach me!

At night was really bushed. Aiyo lack slp.

Oh and i think my abs are like getting covered by fat again. Haiz maybe its the diet, the reduction in exercise, the stress. And the increasing urge to munch away at snacks in response to stress.

ok now that finally all these's out, i'll have a good time looking over them tmrw.

tata~

Some chase their dreams; I better not be chasing dust

2007-01-06T20:34:00.000+08:00

After 3 days of orientation, ought to be like blogging abt it but hey that can wait.

Oh gee i just read on jingna's blog that : "hansiong plans to study baduk at korea university...."

!!!

As what? An undergrad or insei? To get what? A Bachelor of Weiqi or a Professional 1dan cert?

geee HS faster reply me sms!

Ok while waiting might as well talk abt orientation. Its REALLY different from sec sch one. Not that i expected it to be the same. But then again, you don't really feel the difference until you feel the difference.

First day was good. Get to know ppl and all. Ya lah. What else do u do during orientation lol.

2nd day onwards starting to feel out of sorts heh. I dunno why, maybe its the sore throat. But its probably more than that, since i (uncharacteristically, of course, or i'd be dead by now) added the wrong weights when i did bench press and ended up doing a set with unequal weights on each side! lucky the difference was only 1.25kg, or i'll be blogging from hospital =/

Had ki test as well. Sure get in lah. I like the teachers, feels like the kenneth low- mr yip type, philo teachers typical heh. I'll enjoy KI :D

3rd day went to civics class. Teacher's not bad, pretty funny. And 'll train my ears to listen to proper english heh, since he's ang moh and all. Oh the class has like more than 2x the number of girls compared to guys. Nothing wrong with that of cuz, just feels strange, since like, from all boys ---> mostly girls isn't exactly my idea of a smooth transition.

Just stoning further more after that. Just very tired. I got a feelings it could be the diet, cuz i'm really not used to having 3meals a day, spaced so far apart. Or maybe these are just excuses for my not wanting to talk. No idea, there's only 1 day of Orientation left anyway.

Woke up at 8 today, ate,read the papers, da pu for a while then decided to head back to sleep. My eyelids sure felt heavy. Then did sihuo after lunch and da pu. Xtra motivation today, cuz

1) I finally finished all the 1* questions in guanzipu marked thus far :)
2)There's a chance that i can play in the tourney against Japanese Association. More on that if i DO actually make the team.

oh HS finally replied. He's going to study weiqi in order to teach it in the future. IE, be an undergrad. Hahah don't worry hs if u improve lotsa u can go on to study for pro exams thereafter! surely they have provisions for foreign players?

gogogo!!

Hahahaha. Its a nice idea persuing a passion.

But will it make a good career?

I've got no idea.

happy

2007-01-02T22:18:00.000+08:00

Cuz i just beat a 5d.

Was feeling sleepy before that during dinner, and before that when doing sihuo and dapu, and before that when showering and cutting hair and shopping, after gymming.

Was sleepy when i won.

and WIDE AWAKE,

when i realised he's 5dan.

did it work, or not?

2006-12-31T23:49:00.000+08:00

Didn't really spend all that much time thinking today.

Morn was spent reading the papers. And worrying abt the small of my back, gosh its a damn small part but its aching. *shivers*. Sure hope i didn't hurt them too bad from squats. Don't wanna be out from gymming. Then picked up Da Vinci code and started reading. I know its kinda late, but oh well better than nvr.

Afternoon was playing msn games with zishun, then we went to yahoo pool instead and back to solitaire again whee.

Evening played chess with my dad. Quality time spent? hahaha. Our first game in a long long while.

Then after that played 7hand poker with neozy before finally getting down to work.

I've sorted everything out, but the schedule, even without a 2nd cca, looks extremely demanding. Here's the projected schedule :

Projected exercise days:

Monday: Gym training to chase away Monday blues!
Wednesday: Gym training on this day with lesser workload.
Friday: Gym. As the wkn reckons, its time to work out
Sunday: Cardio. Could either be swimming or running intervals if 2/week quota yet to be met.

Projected Weiqi training schedule:
1 game/ week with phillip
1 lesson/week with phillip
1 RJC training -> put in time for training sihuo

The other 3 days will be spilt into ‘heavy’ and ‘light’ days, with at least 1 of each per week, in addition to one ‘off’ day per week.
Heavy- sihuo (15min) + slow game (1h30min) + self-review (15min)
Light- sihuo (30min) + Da pu (30min) + fast games (1h)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tsktsk. Must remind myself, relook my goals WEEKLY. Looking back at these 2 months and the goals i've set before it, i realise i'd have had an even more fufilling time had i followed them more closely.

But its pretty good already.

for starters, that is.

What i Like

2006-12-30T22:16:00.000+08:00

Sometimes capturing feeling's not easy.

and cuz i didn't write anything mid-week, much of it's gone.

This has been a rather emotionally charged week. Not that anything huge occurred, just simply cuz its the last week of holidays.

Been raining non-stop early this wk. I can't rmbr much.

Ok lets focus on TODAY. Today i basically 闭关 right after gym to think abt what i want for next yr. Cuz as i said, the last few days were emotionally charged.

When u think about goals, it ought to be 1)EXCITING 2)SPECIFIC 3)achievable. And 3) is deliberately un-capped.Cuz if it is exciting enough, i know i'll find a way to get there.

What goals are exciting? Goals that let u achieve what you REALLY want.

What do i really want?

Nuggets picked up over the past few days:

1) Gymming. I really love working out i dunno why. Maybe its the pump i get from working out. maybe the sense of progression. Or the control and discipline it gives me over my life. Really enjoyed planning next yr's workout today.

2) Japanese ladies. Haha i didn't want to write it here but then again sch frens dun come here so its fine. U see yrs ago when i watched The Last Samurai i rmbr being enthralled by the wife (played by koyuki) of the samurai killed by Tom Cruise for quite awhile. Then on thurs after watching Death Note 2 i'm so captivated by Erika Toda (who acted as Misa) that for the first time ever, my wallpaper is not weiqi-related, but graced with her beautiful face.
But if you've watched both shows, u'll realise both characters are VERY different in character. So whats the similarity? Simply that they're japanese? Perhaps not. The 3rd kira in DN2 didn't evoke the same feelings. That they're subservient to guys? (koyuki's the demure, 听话kind, and misa is devoted to the point of blindly taking orders from Light 'just order, don't need to ask') Perhaps. But then u ask me now, i'd prefer Misa to koyuki. She looks so cute!! but its not just cuteness. Like, Hebe's cute. that taiwanese singer/host on 我猜's cute, but then they don't evoke the same feelings neither.
So what is it exactly? I think i gotta live in japan myself to find out.

There, there. 2 goals derived today.

1. Gymming goal (to be achieved by end of february 2007):

-Further Tone abs till they become thoroughly visible.
-Sub-10min for 2.4km Run
-Be able to perform 15 pull ups
-Be able to Bench Press 60kg
-Limit workouts to 4x a week

2.Learn japanese with the view to be fluent in the language within 4 yrs, or at least to be able to understand the language.

And guess what,its thru a short convo with phillip that i finally decided on the ORDER of my goals, plus the most IMPT: what to KICK out.

Here goes:

Studies. (Its my bread and butter, people. I want those 4As. Then i can go anywhere. Just that if i fail to land a scholarship, then there goes my house :( )
Weiqi. (I've said multiple times before that whatever progress i make next yr is likely gonna be the peak of my life, and yeah i'm gonna make it mt everest high. And phillip's prediction that if i work hard, i can reach zhang xiang's standard by next August is a real booster shot. Boston, i'm coming)
Gymming (And ppl will be wondering why i didn't go into sports =p )
Learning japanese. (as elaborated upon)

Alright tmrw's the 2nd day of my 闭关。i think another day of thinking and planning and packing 'd do me good.

Make me more englightened tmrw.

p.s: I think part of growing up, is gradually noticing that the movies stars u idolise are no longer that much older than u. Erika toda is only 18!!! oh bear with my 花吃-ness, it won't last long :P

You Know My Name

2006-12-26T00:07:00.000+08:00

Pretty much wasting the night of an otherwise perfect day.

After dinner played audition, got owned, then pretty much just wasted the night away on clips and songs.

But anyway chenz sent me the link to a gem! I like the casino royale theme song!!! Here's the lyrics, poignant huh? enjoy :)

You Know My Name - Chris Cornell
Genre/Lang. : Rock/Metal

If you take a life do you know what you'll give?

Odds are, you won't like what it is

When the storm arrives, would you be seen with me?

By the merciless eyes of deceit?

I've seen angels fall from blinding heights

But you yourself are nothing so divine

Just next in line

Arm yourself because no-one else here will save you

The odds will betray you

And I will replace you

You can't deny the prize it may never fulfill you

It longs to kill you

Are you willing to die?

The coldest blood runs through my veins

You know my name

If you come inside things will not be the same

When you return to the night

And if you think you've won

You never saw me change

The game that we all been playing

I've seen diamonds cut through harder men

Than you yourself

But if you must pretend

You may meet your end

Arm yourself because no-one else here will save you

The odds will betray you

And I will replace you

You can't deny the prize it may never fulfill you

It longs to kill you

Are you willing to die?

The coldest blood runs through my veins

Try to hide your hand

Forget how to feel

Life is gone with just a spin of the wheel

Spin of the wheel

Arm yourself because no-one else here will save you

The odds will betray you

And I will replace you

You can't deny the prize it may never fulfill you

It longs to kill you

Are you willing to die?

The coldest blood runs through my veins

You know my name

复活

2006-12-25T18:23:00.000+08:00

I don't know when is Revival, but if i remember correctly from reading Roll of thunder, hear my cry, its somewhere around Christmas?

Regardless, i feel as if i've come back to life today.

Saturday went gym in the morn but the running sucked. Gave up after 4 rounds, cuz i was running so slowly it was meaningless. After that went AXS to get tickets , had to settle for FRONT ROW!!! grrr. No more wkn movies without prior booking for me anymore.

Evening went with chenz and ben to vivo, shopped, watched Curse of the Golden Flower and then played one round of pool and zoomed home. I knew i needed rest.

Oh yeah just a note, didn't find Curse particularly good. Those cleavage were kinda distracting.

Sunday woke late, so couldn't go running to make up for sat. Seems like i didn't quite get the rest i needed, cuz i slept at 1am the night before booking today's show. Went grandma's house then museum in the afternoon with my family, then week to catch Confessions of Pain. Not bad. Kaneshiro's acting's not bad, after all. Yeah. I think the 2 films that i watched, all the acting's good. Oh but the plot's not as good as Infernal Affairs, considering that they're both from the same director.

Anyway, after dinner i rushed back for the sleep that i needed. And i got it:)

Today woke an hour late but the running was good. 1:32/1:30/1:32/1:37/1:45/1:44.

I know, not anything to boast about, but still alot better than saturday. Then gymmed and didn't have enough time for lower body so 'd do it tmrw. Like, 1 wk before sch starts! So better get into shape =)

Oh then afternoon spent an hour or so on Guanzipu. FInally had the determination to get back to it. FINALLY!!!! hehehe. did not feel like touching weiqi at all the past few days, feel so guilty
:(

THen i went kgs for a game. Waited a long time, but finally... A WIN OVER A 5D!!! but then this 5d didn't feel particularly strong leh :( anyway, Jingna 'd be pleased to read the following:

yry [3d]: b wins by much
perdedor [4k]: it really is doll playing?
yry [3d]: ?
lily999 [11k]: lol
yry [3d]: why not?
perdedor [4k]: dunno, i thot she was a kyu
yry [3d]: when
perdedor [4k]: not too long ago.....
perdedor [4k]: maybe she got better......
yry [3d]: oh

hahahahaha. Wah jingna i peifu peifu. Even when u were kyu already got ppl notice u le arh!! U maybe u were bugging 'em all =)

day done things undone

2006-12-22T22:02:00.000+08:00

Gym? Nope.
Weiqi? nope.
Went out? Nope.

Woke at 10 today, and could feel my back muscle, likely from ytd squats, so decided to take the day off. Really suspicious of myself becoming lazy.

Had the urge to try something new, and also felt like playing computer games. So i decided, i'd play a game which i had nvr done before. And Auditions seemed like a decent choice, though it took a long time to download. Read 老猫, the Wisely series but comic one, in the mean time.

So basically thats whr my day went.

No wonder holidays pass in the blink of an eye.

cuz i waste 'em.

So get back in order

2006-12-21T21:53:00.000+08:00

The past few days were great, but they kinda shook me off my routine.

Uncharacteristically missed my gym this morning, sorry fiq, so i went in the afternoon instead.

Had dinner outside since mom was out.

I enjoyed walking all the way back home. Esp since its dark and abt to rain and walking in NTU, is walking in a semi-jungle.

Some primative fun, some thrill, maybe i'll enjoy army after all.

And i learnt so much

2006-12-20T21:11:00.000+08:00

I feel i learnt so much over the past few days. Actually, its the Everyday-Interacting-With-Alot-Of-Different-Ppl thing. Good for hermits like me :) Lets go over slowly, since these are memories to keep:

Sunday was Fast Go comp. Lost to LWW but it was fun lah. Nice time talking to james as well. Good to see ppl contributing and helping spread Weiqi to fellow singaporeans. Then after the comp went jurong east with ben for dinner at kobayashi. Met weilai and co at the bus stop lol and weilai was really funny but heh better not post what he said up, later incur the wrath of certain ppl and endanger his chances of winning a scholarship =P

Oh yeah shld have just taken mrt back to boonlay. Took 198 instead, and it went THE WRONG WAY and i ended up at bukit merah interchange =.= and had to take all the way back gee.

Monday was interhall weiqi. I woke early in the morn and headed to gym at 7am in the morning and the aunty at the gym was like, "rarely see young ppl wake up so early. I ask my daugther come gym with me she lazy". Diao. She trying to matchmake or what ><

Had a great time at interhall. Although we didn't make the semis haiz. Oh, very good time interacting with the umpire and fellow team mates and then playing bridge lol. Oh yeah when i'm reading this entry in the future, refer to handwritten diary. Gonna write smth there. dun want to put that up here :P

Today mark chenz huixiang zijian came over for floorball was really fun i think its due to the free flowing nature of the game but gee wish ben wasn't sick and we could play 3 on3 instead.Oh yeah i'm really glad to have this bunch of frens who have no problem interacting with each other though not everyone knew everyone else beforehand. Oh and me-chenz-huixiang, diao, smth special man, since our bball days :)

Oh yeah i'm beginning to realise how lucky i'm staying in ntu with access to all the great facilities and friendly ppl. Better utilise it, cuz, cuz, in 2 yrs i'm army-bound :(

These days i can't think of good titles

2006-12-16T22:18:00.000+08:00

so i write none.

Ytd didn't know that i had lesson, so rushed to lesson, then went for a run in the evening, then headed to ntu gym and for the first time in the long while did the cardio machines there.

Later it wasn't so good. the negative news wasn't smth i didn't expect, but forgetting abt it altogether was just ridiculous. Oh, and there's the sms, but well u know now i know i must go.

Today gymming for the first time in a long while fiq's PUNCTUAL!!!! *applause* Let's hope it'll be the same on mon at 7am in the morn, cuz i got tourney at like, 10.30 in the morn. Oh yeah, and we'll go get some minah's no. this time :P

But the effort spent today was rather rewarding. I got only 1 or 2 completely right, but for the rest of them, whatever % of what i've read out, i've sweated for it. Satisfied.

Then da pu from the 22nd issue of 棋艺mag. yes,i'm getting some feel back.

And after dinner its Sinbad Legend of the 7 Seas. Whee somehow i got the feeling that i've seen it before. I'm not sure. but it was nice anyway.

Alright. stack up loads of rest. Cuz there's still so much for me to persue.

and face it, tackle it, and make it disappear

2006-12-13T22:24:00.000+08:00

Just lost a game vs a 5d after getting a group of mine killed. It had plenty of eye space. Just confirms what i already know, that my sihuo really sucks. Knew it from those failed attempts at 1star questions and previous trouncing. But looking on the bright side, once i tackle it, i'm 5d level!

Which really is a positive view. Oh well. i gotta keep fighting. Come to think of it, i've been training everyday for like, 2months straight? At least a month plus. Which was why i was confident last night at the hall weiqi team training, cuz i felt that even if other halls have 5dans, they cannot possibly be in as good a shape as i'm as their examinations had only ended recently.

But mine form now doesn't reflect that of someone who had trained daily for a month.

My sihuo. must be tackled.

Plans for floorball altered. Not gonna train with RJ beforehand, 'll be training at my place instead. Suddenly i feel so glad i live in NTU =)

break go break go

2006-12-11T22:07:00.000+08:00

I'm hearing 'Break Go' by DA PUMP again. Was a track played during the 'My MVP Valentine' Series, i got the cd and now i'm still hearing it. Some songs nvr lose their flavour.

been troubled the past few days with broken sleep, having to go to the toilet a couple of times, which really worries me. Ah so i digged up the ST 'Mind your Body' series and read up, and the advice is, not caffeine in the evening and no water 2hours before sleep. Sure hope it works.

My weiqi 's getting lil frustrating, losing games to all those jisuan stuff. Guess i really better brush up on it, or else my game cannot progress. ugh.

Today's 6X400 was really slack, clocked 1:40 on my first run and it pretty much set the pace for everything else. I wanted to say, oh, the floor's wet, but hey, NO EXCUSES

My back ached pretty soon after trying to dribble with floorball. Tmrw gym must do endurance with back.

Aiyoh. My blog's getting monotonous. Signs of lifelessness. Or maybe, that just means i'm sticking to a routine.

Oh last reminder no more chocs please!!!!!!!!!!! I can't help eating them heh.

next one please!

2006-12-08T22:06:00.000+08:00

yay won a 4d today. Played him in the afternoon, was leading and screwed up my endgame. So i decided to brush up my ji suan by doing guanzipu. but wasn't too successful.Then went for a 6X400 run (for once first 3 runs managed to keep under 1:30!! but then the next one was 1:32, then 1:39, then 1:50!!!) and did some dribbling with the borrowed floorball stick and came back for dinner. Then went online, waited quite awhile for an opponent, and out popped the same opponent again!

And finally, i won :D

now, now, go for 5ds!

What are you doing with earplugs on!

2006-12-08T09:24:00.000+08:00

No no i'm not swimming. Its the drilling ugh ugh ugh. Reminiscent of the days when the block beside mine was being built =/

Last few days were pretty good. Actually , i was going out everyday time seems to past so quickly i just want to grab hold of it. Lets go day by day:

Tues: Whee woke at 6.30am and met up with taufiq for running& gymming, then headed for weiqi in bugis. Went for lunch after my lesson with phil and his student Gabriel who's this cute kid who's only p4 geegee such rosy cheeks *pinches* Then went home and finally borrowed a floorball stick !!! And collin's so nice he lent me his own stick instead of those my dad sponsored. I could airhook with this stick, if only i knew how to. So up and down i go, dribbling around me house.

Wed: Overslept in the morn cuz of the previous nite's floorball practise. Went to run my 6X400, but then there were a bunch of students occupying the track, and two of 'em had this newspaper-made shirt draped all over and for a moment i thought they'd whip out water bombs and start splashing each other but no they just layed stuff out on the track. Weird.
So i decided to use the trackmill but gee the silly gym card still doesn't work after my dad renewed membership so had to make do by doing suicide drill on the soccer court instead. yeah baby, use ur creativity, and u can exercise anywhere.
Afternoon met up with chenz ben mark hy and samantha at bl and well as predicted, the one who lives the nearest(me) is often the latest (me). Went for pool and watched casino royale, then ended it off with dinner at crystal jade.

thurs: Supposed to run and gym with fiq but he didn't turn up, so gymmed alone then went to eat lamb kebab, then it was lesson time again. Played against WW after that and lost, with White 178 aww. Ok i was pretty tired ytd so didn't play when i got home, just looked over some sihuoti and reviewed the earlier game.

Ok today's supposed to be weiqi marathon but this drilling is getting on my nerves. Probably play during lunchtime instead, when the thundering comes to a halt.

the thrill of winning

2006-12-02T21:07:00.000+08:00

whee i finally won at 4d after two losses today playing with jingna's acct. =D feels great!

otherwise today has been a rather dull day. I just put in my SHE cd into the cd player, and went to my laptop looking for it to load on Realplayer =/

Need my sleep heh. 1.30am each nite won't do.

Went to run in the afternoon and it was raining. Running in the rain's nice, except sometimes it gets hard to open ur eyes. Goggles!

then went to shoot some hoops. I realised, shooting really isn't that hard. Its pretty mechanical, and u really have to be focused. But sheesh seems like my strength hasn't improved since sec 1. i still have to break form to shoot 3s, until i start stepping into the shot. Hmmm. lucky i'm not intending to ball next yr :)

Pri sch gathering on mon 'll have real little ppl. Once jt didn't want come means neither does jamie, which means cel not coming either. Walter and fx didn't reply which meant a no. To which i was still like, okay, cuz still have the ol' clique. Then now nigel cannot which means no timo and yuxuan didn't reply and enloong can't come lol. 徒劳无功。

So it'll be neozy shane aaron & yanhan. Wheeeeee. So long!

aiyer

2006-12-02T00:36:00.000+08:00

No mood to write!

Ok i can't quite rmbr the week past.

ok wed thx fiq for the chips, though i won't risk putting on extra calories for 'em lol. I understand when ur late lah, as long as u inform me its fine.

ytd went to swim, then went for lesson. at night had fun seeing phillip make jingna's acct 6d for me to play. its 5d now, after losing just 1 game (not by me, phil decided to drop 1 more). Gee. Why drop sooo fast! Shane and i were laughing our ass off though, really funny seeing ppl wonder why an 8d? resigns when he's killing a grp lol. And one guy asked me abt my crown beside my nick then the convo somehow moved to jingna whee she's like a mini celeb there eh i'll have fun using her acct :P

Today collected testi, run then gym then weiqi from 2-8. then been chatting online since 10. I'm bushed. Ok nitey ppl.

And more

2006-11-28T22:06:00.000+08:00

So much's happening these few days that i've got no time to stop and look and plan, as is habitual of me.

So much happening as in, everyday going out, which is pretty unusual for the homey me.

Lets start from postgrad day 1, fri: Going for the last lesson before Whampoa. Kinda fatigued by grad.

Sat: Day 1 of whampoa. Fine. 2/3 wins, lost against jin. Reasonable. Nice hanging out with the weiqi guys. A weiqi community. thats developing.

Sun:Day 2 of Whampoa. Not so good. Lost to xunkang and sionghwai again, and the other 2 games could be attributed to vastly weaker opponents, cuz i didn't get myself in good mental condition to play them after the tough loss against xunkang. And phillip asks me to switch to grp A of fast go, which means giving up a likely champ in the sec sch cat. Dilemma.

Mon: Original plan was to gym in the morn then go for chalet, but too tired to gym in the morn. went in the afternoon instead but had to cut it short cuz of the lack of time. This nice angmoh lady in the gym praised my control of weights and not banging them. So nice of her!
We ended up missing the shuttle bus as ben and i were both late bleah (sry chenz) and had to take a bus in. Saw a few familiar faces and many new ones. Regardless, we quickly settled into what Clement calls the "Raffles Room" lol. BBQ that time we went to play freezebee it was fun and yeah its the first time i'm playing it. I like smacking it into the floor and watch it rise up again!!!
Anyway we played bridge late into the night after hy sam and keanyung left. I enjoyed bridge. Plz. i paid my dues with the suaning i got lol so glad i enjoyed it.yayness.
LAter that night we slept on the bed, 5 ppl on one bed lol and then mark snored in bed so yeah had so probs sleeping but then again its only 1 night, couple of hours so ok lah.

Tues: Morn woke, showered, went to look for bicycle shop which took us an hour and the half, and by the time we had breakfast it rained so we had to go bowl instead and after that we cycled for an hour with rather screwed bikes.
But the cute lil 2-3 yr old gal brightened our day up. Such a cute gal! We saw her at macs when we ate breakfast and ben waved at her and she kept smiling brightly. When we came for the toilet after cycling, 2hours later, she was still there with her parents fully utilizing the wireless hotspot so we waved and made faces at her again lol. I saw some gals looking at us weirdly cuz they thought we were waving at them, until they realised it was the lil gal we were playing with lol. Then when we left she gave us a bright BYE!. with a sunny smile. Makes me day!
Anyway i decided to shift to grp A already, as i hear TPH words, 做事要破釜沉舟. This voice beat the other voice that said, dun give up certain small benefits for unclear bigger ones. But no. I must break all retreat routes. The only thing worth winning, is the right to represent sg. Now, go win it.

Please release me.

2006-11-24T01:17:00.000+08:00

Not the most creative of titles, but neither does the situation call for so. Sentimentality. Sentimentality. What i'm listening to now: this

Not a surprise huh? No. Sentimentality builds up creepily, but when it overflows you just know it was coming all along.

I know many others have had their lists of best frens and all the farewell they wanna say to them, so this will come kinda late, but when sentimentality flows the time the right, when the time is ripe the plants will flower; a beautiful sight; autumn or winter.

There won't be any 'special mention' lists of name kinda thing, cuz if a person is really special, a mere mention's never enough.

2cups of honey and a mouthful of chuanpeipipagao later, let the pen flow:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(not in order of any sort, except in which they come to mind)

Benjamin Goh
Weiqi gave me many special things in my life. And that includes befriending you. Going out with u and chenz is always a pleasant experience whr i never feel out of place, were i know i'm surrounded by buddies. Thx, and there'll be more to come. Think floorball and weiqi :)

Chenz & Huixiang
None of us made the bball team, but through bball we found someone who understands how it feels warming the bench, or not even getting to sit on it. We found each other.

Daniel yanjie yongjin fuginn gerrard yelin
Though i never played an official game with you guys, thx for making me still feel part of our bball batch when we do meet up, however rare that is.

Hongjie
Same class and same cca and same games (battleon, ragnarok, maple and whatnot) we were really tight in lower sec. Thx for the friendship. Though we interact far less these days since we're no longer in the same class, hardly go for bball and i've quit gaming, thx for still being a good, understanding fren that i can trust.

Mark yeow
My chairmanship would have been a hell lot tougher without you. I'm not too good with words. Let's just say, you do deserve a Service Award as well.Thank you so much.

Junhan
Thank you, fellow class psl. We only worked together for a short time, but ur a friend i can trust. Thanks.

Arunapuram Gokul Rahul
Its always a joy to chat with you and take a glimpse of your immense knowledge, computer-related or otherwise. Our philo proj in sec2 where u made the animation, in sec 3 when we set up the philo forum and in sec4 when we collaborated for RE. Oh and your guidance when i took CEP in sec3. My 4 years 'd have been less colourful without you. Sorry for not being able to get u a place in our grad table. It'd have been a joy to have you there.

Fahd imam
Our sec 2 philo proj with rahul, the interclass debate were u rightly were disatisfied with the judging, our near-perfect RE grp in sec 3. It was a pity you had to go abroad. We were perfect work partners :)

Ming xue and Ming quan
Thanks for showing me what a good pair of monitor/assistant monitors is like. Your sacrifices for our class and ur working in tandem really earnt my respect. I'm sorry that we didn't do as well as we could have done in sec3 RE with such a great group. We really underachieved, but it was a great ride.

Chinks
The last i remember of our lower sec days, we were quarreling because i won't lent u my maths textbook as it was the 2nd time u forgot to bring it. Fast forward 2 yrs later, and we never lack something to chat about. The difference 2 yrs make. Or perhaps its the gymming :)

Zishun
I love speaking chinese, actually. Its a joy conversing with you.

Joshua Heng
Lab partners for 2 years, thx for showing me how the stuff at physics lab look like on the inside, then managing to put it back all together again. Thx for for SS proj, without you it never could have been done. And thank you for helping me take pic during grad ceremony. Help me thank your mom too :)

My SS Proj Group
Mark-wise, we didn't deliver. But process wise, in terms of member's cooperation, it's one of the best ones in my time at RI. Thank you for all the filming, scripts, interviews, question lists, and of course, the EDITING. >< And sorry for the lost 4.0s.

Zijian
We should have chatted more earlier. Our similarity in ideas and ability to cope with differences in ideals, our common admiration for mr tan puay hock and the Chinese language. And our honesty to each other. Thank you for it all. Oh, and when tph says your 为人正直, don't be so quick to reject it. Perhaps deep down, you really are so. Maybe rebelling isn't that cool after all. Maybe this funny stuff and witty put downs doesn't detract from zheng zhi-ness. Or at the very least, its smth u can aspire to :)

Ian Yap
Thx for ur support during our SS proj. Thanks for those little gossip sessions we had, a few times at the library and twice at thai express. We didn't really hang out much, i understand the whole thing abt cliques and all, but i know that decades down the road if we meet we'll have no lack of topics to chat about, and honesty to put forth our thoughts, though u may sugar-coat them if u so wish to :)

Heng Zhong
Hello fellow Amber! Thx for being the loyal, trustworthy friend that you are. Smile more though, and consider adopting a more positive outlook! Oh yeah and lets continue our bookclub!

Walter
We've have been classmates in primary sch before being in 3/4 H together, but truth be told i don't really know him well. But you gotta respect a guy who so loves both School (as is obvious) and Country(as i've heard) and (recently) Class, when there have been times, at one point or another, that feeling otherwise would have been the hippier sentiment. Though for the latter, my opinion hasn't changed.

Jayanth
Someone else i don't really know very well in person, but his conduct when getting heckled during pe by hanlin was admirable.Perfect self-restraint. Kudos.

Prasatt/ravi/zijian
Thanks for going down to the rally the other time. It really was a great experience, hearing the speakers speak in the different languages and being able to understand them all through the explanation of one another. Smth i won't forget. Or at least, a reminder 'd come every 5 yrs =)

Taufiq
We've been in the same class for 4 yrs straight, and its only in the past month that we've been hanging out together. Really wish we did that, 3yrs 11mth earlier. But there's 2more years to go =)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Must have took some time to write all that. And all of 4 years to experience them.

And now we're Released.

shop, shop, shop

2006-11-22T21:31:00.000+08:00

today went shopping for grad nite outfit, after realising that what i bought at vivo certainly doesn't look grad-worthy. Looked at stuff at seiyu ytd before lesson, then today went with fiq x2(taufiq and shafiq) annwaar and khairul to queensway to shop (i know jingna's gonna say, cheapskate!! but hey we're students lah. normal students. Not those having to rush to photoshoots =/)

Anyway i'm satisfied with my catch. Grad outfit cost abt 200 in total (90 to levis shoes, 110 for shirt pants belt heh) and i got a 3/4 pants and another shirt as well. Shopping's fun!

Oh and my sleep last night was so screwed. Slept at 1!! oh no. and my weiqi game sucked. Was like i was drunk. now off to a better game!

Some progress

2006-11-20T22:19:00.000+08:00

Chatted till 1am with shane last night. I'm normally not very chatty, but when the topic's right, i can go on forever.

Which explains why i woke up at 10 today, had breakfast, then slept till 12.30. heh. No more, baby, no more of these.

Afternoon did sihuoti. gee i was so glad when i solved one of it, though i took the whole of 40min. But its rewarding, nonetheless.

Then went to the gym to skip. Couldn't run my 2.4 and play bball cuz of the rain. Skipping was fine. The workout plan of 3min of skipping +1min of leg raises per set didn't work out very well though, cuz i planned to do 8 sets of it to exercise for roughly 30min but could do no more after the 4th, so i headed to the trackmill, ran for 5min at 11/12, then called it a day. Not perfect, but better than growing fat at home :)

Then at night weiqi, finally won a 3d. woohoo. First time ever. =D Not a perfect game either, very luan, and i had to surround the center, which is hardly my natural inclination, but oh well a win is a win, i'll take it in any form :)

U can see i put so much smilies. *beams*

Weary

2006-11-19T19:39:00.000+08:00

I think i won't have problems going to bed tonight. Just tired.

Glad i won my previous game. By 0.5 pt. Felt i was behind by midgame, must have caught up in the endgame. I've been participant to this type of turnarounds many times before, thankfully this time i'm on the right side of it :)

Today's 2.4 run didn't go will. Was at 9:33 with 1.5half rounds left, and totally gassed. i dunno whats wrong. Perhaps the hot weather. Couldn't be the sleep, since i slept plenty last nite, though i had trouble getting to sleep, but i set aside 10hours for it so it had to be enough.

The workout was better. Oh i so must correct my form on the deadlift. Oh gee and its hands outside the legs, not the other way round! bleh.

I'm gonna run 2.4 more often now. That means, everyday without swimming, since i can't run 2.4, then go swim 50laps. Can die sia.

Oh, and let me remain chocolate-free. its the end of wk2 of the holiday, and the progress hasn't been really visible, possibly cuz i rested the last 2 days away. Alright, no pt crying over spilt milk.

Oh yeah. Great Expectations has been a mighty fine read. A joy.

I forsee something good. I won't have trouble sleeping tonight.

Pull it back

2006-11-18T20:41:00.000+08:00

admittedly, been rather slack these few days. Didn't work out at all today and ytd, but today's reasonable, cuz my abductors really hurt (ouch!).

But i haven't been following my schedule at google. Partly cuz google calender has been quirky lately, but thats no excuse.

So its time to get back to the routine :)

I'll call it Nanyang Trail

2006-11-16T20:19:00.000+08:00

Went to Boonlay gym with taufiq today. Geez the facilities rival even california fitness! Ok

ok, not really, but dollar for dollar, Clubfit wins hands down (duh, subsidised fees what :P) Oh and the gym instructor there was really nice, for the first time a clubfit instructor actually taught me anything. Kudos!

Decided to take a walk back home since it was like 4,5 bus stops away? Then after entering NTU , i suddenly had the urge to explore a path i nvr took before. Since this whole trail loops round NTU, i figured i can't quite get lost, so off i went in the way.

A long, silent trail. Feels so good that there's so much space around, surrounded by nature (one side's housing for foreign lecturers, but i see no one there, and the other side's forest) and ur all alone. And a few ant hills later, tadah:

Its well worth the walk.

Can't quite see from the pick, but there's this little slope that's so quite and peaceful. And the birds, colourful birds singing, but rather too quick for my hp cam to snap.

Then i suddenly had the urge to revisit my old place. Before i moved to hall 12, i used to stay in hall 11 blk 55 instead. So well, nostalgia, it so strong.

Not much changes here, the little garden outside the canteen's still the same.

But the inside's different. Where are all those arcade games i used to play? My street fighter machine?

The little build right at the left, that used to be home.

There, this one.

The building on the right: when did it pop out?

Somewhere along this strip,
Lies the shell of my good old turtle.

Gosh. From outside it really looks the same.

Circles and circles, Squares and squares.
Round and round the level i used to cycle.

On top this tree used to be a bird's nest.
But now even the tree looks different.

Do you see my fighting fish?

And what was green is now blue.

And maybe if my photography were better it'll look prettaye.

Go! Maybe right outside your house is another adventure.

point by point

2006-11-15T23:02:00.000+08:00

Ran 2.4 again ytd. 11:30. Hmm thats still 1:31 off from what i want, so i'm gonna increase my no. of runs.

Today took 1h 43min , 22min more than the previous time i swam 50laps!? Next cardio session's gonna be skipping instead, boredom's starting to set in. Oh wait, i'll give myself an off day on fri as well, i mean, such drastic cut in speed, means u gotta cut urself some slack =p

oh and i finished Antony and Cleopatra!!! =D

just some notes

2006-11-14T14:07:00.000+08:00

Somehow not much mood to blog these days. Perhaps its a good thing; i'm less rooted to the com.

Ytd collected results then went vivo. Results were within expectations but then the comments were rather short and seemingly perfunctory. Watched Flushed Away at vivo, a very british cartoon. Good for the laughs :) Then soaked our legs at wadding pool then went shopping. Gee thx ben and chenz for waiting so long while i tried on clothes =D

Ok just some notes to remind myself:

Sleep early. This has been flung out of the window lately and then i'll miss my morning workouts and have to push it to afternoon, when it often rains :( rain, rain, go away.
Watch your diet. Yeah. Ate the milo bar ytd, thinking it was the healthiest option available when i was hungry at 7-11 waiting to travel to vivo and gosh by its sweetness i doubt so. Then today ate my mum's mee sua which's full of pig's innards. I love the taste but geez watch it, too much calories!
Go fill up the Humans Scholarship form. Gee. this one, DON'T FORGET!!
Surf less Stomp forum and blogs. Gee, this is taking up alot of unplanned time.
Play weiqi before u do sihuo. Aiyoyo. its part of what's keeping me up late. Cuz i do sihuo, get stuck and by the time i decide its time to go play its already 10+ and after the game its VERY LATE and i'm somehow VERY AWAKE. gee.
READ, READ. Not done with Antony and Cleopatra yet ><>

Ok other than these my week 1 of holiday was roughly acceptable. Grade: B-

Time to plan week 2!

So thats what they do in europe

2006-11-11T22:38:00.000+08:00

Was watching the live relaying of the finals of European Youth Go Masters League 2006. (sure, i'd prefer to watch live matches of korean/chinese/jap pro games, but tell that to william shubert)

And guess what i saw the relayer say:

"

EYGML2 [-]: Both players are leaving their chair
EYGML2 [-]: There are a little stressed and want to breath a while

!?!?!?!

I sure wish we could do that here!!

A filling time

2006-11-10T23:06:00.000+08:00

Phillip was saying, should play more games, 'd fill up the 'holes' in your game. Which i comprehend as saying that the more u play, the more weaknesses in your game you/your opponent will spot, hence helping u improve. Going by this understanding, it would seem that on games that i lose i'll benefit more, since my opponent spotted my mistakes, punished it and made the impression on me only too vivid.

Then, ytd must have been a filling time.

Lost 2 straight ytd, making it 4losses in a row. Was certainly looking forward to a 'less productive' day today. Heh. And i did! won my game today, though wasn't as steady a win as when i went on a 6wins out of 7 run. Right now my current streak is, what, 4losses out of 5? Lol.

Oh but today really was less productive. Overslept and woke only at 10 (planned to wake at 6.30.Aww.) Oh but i went to swim after the rain in the afternoon and for the first time in a long while completed the 50laps (which means, no rain/time constraint or being told to switch to breadths). Took 1h 25min. Gonna better the next time.

Tmrw gonna run 2.4. Better improve from my 12min03sec last time. Sub-10 by end of dec!!!

I'm seeing things

2006-11-09T16:16:00.000+08:00

No, not things i shouldn't be seeing.

I was doing sihuoti just now, and the first question took me abt 45min? And i still couldn't find the answer (i think). Couldn't kill cleanly, had to settle for a 2-step ko. Then when i moved on to the other questions, after looking at each of them for a while the 'correct' sequence flashed in mind and i 'solved' them in 10 min flat. Open inverted commas because i'm not 100% sure they're right, cuz have to wait for phillip for the answers, but should be right lah.

Oh and look at the power of comics. Yewei asked me abt coming my house cuz he read slam dunk and wants to play bball. Shane wanna come cuz he read hikaru no go and wants to play weiqi. lol

=)

Family

2006-11-09T11:33:00.000+08:00

Family : A place where there's no 隔夜仇

If you lie to me don't get found out

2006-11-08T23:02:00.000+08:00

It just seems silly how trivial this matter is.

That my mom, lies to me, of all things, about television.

U see, we tape a show regularly, the mon-wed 10.30-11.30 mystical show. Then this new airport show crops up and its from 10-11. So mommy last night ask me go watch my mystical show but i was playing weiqi. So i said no.

Then today when we watch the tape, she said, forgot to change channel, so only had half the show left.

Bloody liar.

I knew it then it was a lie, but i just kept quiet.

Then tonight again she ask me watch. I said no, cuz i can't watch it and still sleep by 11 as i had other things to do. Then she get pissed off. It really pisses me off that my mom, for the sake of TELEVISION, is trying to shake me off my schedule that i'm taking pains to stick to. It was all because of her guidance (compulsory afternoon naps, thereafter hardcore sch work) that lead me into relative success at psle. And now she's trying to derail all these good work?!

I can't comprehend this. It just sounds pure silly.

Oops i'm 2min off schedule. Bedtime, sweet dreams :)

and its day 3 of holiday

2006-11-08T18:42:00.000+08:00

This was meant to be a long, long post.

Till i decided to remove the negatives.

So this is all that's left.

=P

Not that bad lah. Just went for a swim, feel so much better. Went cali fitness ytd, the machines are ZOMG but then i'm not very used to the stuff there. today no ache from ytd. Oh and my schedule ytd was upsetted gee i need to catch up with my reading.

And i must sleep by 10.30 tonight.

Tired.

I ate choc today

2006-11-06T18:39:00.001+08:00

Alright alright the title's so random. Um. I just ate chocolate, the one of the teachers gave on last day of sch. Just feel very lost so wandering around the house and reached for it.

ytd wasn't too good. Aching, so couldn't go gym. Then sihuo got stuck. and at night couldn't sleep well. Wonder whats wrong.

Today's grad wasn't anything fantastic. The REACH video was stirring, but other than that, nah. Graduating in a sch that isn't mine, shaking the hands of form teachers who 've taught me for merely a year, and leaving with an empty folder. Oh, lets not mention the laughing heard when we found out who the Guest of Honour was. Oh please. I still think i 'll look back at the Sec1 orientation camp this year as the most memorable experience, as we seek to incalculcate in our juniors what we feel is Rafflesian, we reflect it best.

The rain prevented me from swimming more than 18laps today. well short of 50.

I'm being so negative.

Oh, sleep it all off.

Or munch a chocolate bar.

Order

2006-11-04T23:23:00.000+08:00

Yay. Today was good.

Finished with my other planning. Moved my pre-jc study plan till after whampoa tournament, meanwhile upping my weiqi time. Spent 80min on 4 questions today, no wonder phillip told me in the meantime no need study pro game. Cuz sihuoti CMI, must pull that up first!!!

upper body still aching so had to scrap my plan to swim. Went to run 2.4 then do the abs exercise that i missed out on thurs. Geez took 12min and 3 seconds! last time was 11min 30 sec only... aiyoh... although i felt faster today than before... probably cuz its been a long long time since i last ran 2.4 lol. Supposed to do some skipping as well but had stitch. I'm hungry all the time, i must stop eating too close to workouts!

Things are going mighty fine, just that they must keep on going this way: Mighty Finely.

Messed Up

2006-11-03T23:00:00.000+08:00

Its an emo day.

Last day of sch & all.

Oh and i finished the last episode of Tian Long Ba Bu. Oh my Qiao feng died. Actually i knew he'd die already, the tuition centre teacher said b4. But still, the visuals were far more saddening. Plus many other heroes died as well. And its not just that. When the series is over, all the good u had once seen, gone as well.

Perhaps just like the goodness of ri. Gone with the wind.

Oh and the plot of tian long ba bu. Some of it i can't figure out as well. Well the drawing of the lady carried by that little monk looks the same as wang yuyan , and the statue also looks like her when its in fact done by that old "Xiao yao pai' head when with the 86 yr old lady long ago? And who's that lady's sister that she said the guy actually liked? OMG did anyone else read this bk as well? explain explain!!!

Ok looking on the bright side my workout ytd wasn't that bad, judging from my aches(aka test results) today, my upper body's pretty well worked but i didn't feel anything on the legs.Until i went to swim todya and realised what all those Lunges worked : the Glutes(read:ass). heh. so it worked something at least heh.

ok i'm still rather confused. State of flux in my mind now, time for zzz.

The Last Late Night

2006-11-02T22:52:00.000+08:00

A hearty game altered what was to be a sorrowful post.

Ok, not SORROWFUL, but still, not the brightest of posts.

Today's workout didn't go as well, due to:

1)forgetting to bring my gloves
2)Not understanding the technique of the new exercises i included
3) not sure what weight to use. Seems that just after 2 weeks my strength dropped. Or is it that the absence of gloves made it so hard that i cannot distribute the weight properly?

But the biggest reason is: Nausea!!!!

Must be the lack of sleep last night after the ample sleep the night before. gee. So much for mine 10hour plan.

I made a new rule today, hands off the com after 10, but now its 10:53 and i'm still on it. But geez my weiqi game was well worth it.

Ok, last night's late night was silly, but i think it's worth it too. getting things off ur chest feels mighty great, though its effects might render it silly. But then, its the feeling that counts. The feeling of 放下心中大石and moving on. heh.

Because so far only my fitness plan's completed: might more to go. Up next, should be weiqi plan.

Gambatte!

when plenty isn't a blessing

2006-11-01T22:49:00.000+08:00

Today was Research day.

Meaning, doing research for my new workout plan this holi. I even took 'leave' for it (no, not pon)

And i realised how many issues of Men's Health I bought.

Anyway, my main goals by the end of this nov dec is to:
1)Run 2.4km in less than 10min
2)Slash body fat % from the 20+% (i think its my osim machine that's spoilt, but..) to 12%(minimum for revealing abs, heh =D )

So i thought the commonsense thing to do is circuits whereby u do large reps and u do exercises that work different part of ur body in your supersets. But i took a long time thinking abt this cuz....... despite what i was telling myself, i know intuitively that i didn't just want to burn fat, i wanted to grow more as well. And besides all those stuff abt 'packing it all into 1 wk' (i.e train for strength and endurance in the same week, alternating btwn the 2) is pretty well ingrained in me so i decided, leave the fat-burning to swimming!!!! Its not as if if i do the workout i just planned i won't burn fats. I still will, just not as much but who cares i'll swim the calories away and my diet has always been sensible.

Looking at my workout plan i'm feeling really satisfied cuz it pretty much takes care of everything....... but then i look at it again and gosh, HOW MUCH TIME WILL I HAVE TO SPEND ON EACH SESSION?

No idea, i'll find out tmrw and maybe make adjustments cuz i've got many other goals for this holi as well.

Oh yes and i have another resolution: 10hours /sleep per nite!!! Thx in part to chenz who pointed out that ppl who sleep less tend to be shorter and i think it makes sense that the body grows when one sleeps. Ok lah its kinda late to make up for the lack of slp in the past but we'll see how things go the next 2 months.

Hope for the best :)

Because you can't write to order

2006-10-31T20:36:00.000+08:00

Just yesterday, i'd be smacking away at the keyboard, punching up words, frantically keeping up with the pace words flow from my mind. But my sis needed(oh, i'd prefer if she asked, but its more of DEMANDED) MY com. I kinda get the feeling its not really mine. Like, even if u really need it, shouldnt u ask really that hang on to my lil baby with your voice tempered with irritance?

I must be a really possessive person.

Good, good, now the words are coming back.

Went swimming last sun for abt 45min to wash away the O lvl stress and, much to my surprise, got scolded by a lady for bumping into her twice without myself feeling anything at all. And her rude fren rudely(yes yes i'm lacking in vocab) demanded at the top of her voice that i remove my ear plugs.

But i did not shoot back. I felt really calm, and felt no anger. Maybe if my sis demanded my laptop then, i'd have passed it to her(rather, let her keep it) without any complaints. Because i had the Os to hold my focus, to tell me that other things are just small things. That these little guys are out of my range - even if they were to stretch themselves to the fullest, they still couldn't lay a finger on me. Outta range. No harm to me, no harm to my Big Goal.

but for now, whats my Big Goal?

I know i must get back to my gym and weiqi quickly. Ytd visited the library and returned late, then whiled the night away watching Tian Long Ba Bu vcds. Omg i really like the Mu Wan Qing character, though she's neither the main character nor the prettiest one. Just got smth special abt her.

Regardless, the night wasn't the most productive.

This afternoon i went to watch The Teenage Textbook vcd with hz and zishun, nathan and mohd were there too, like a sec2 reunion. U see, i first saw the vcd in sec2 but couldn't complete it, and once again in sec 3, so i told myself, before i leave ri, i'm gonna complete it.

And now i've done so.

That means, soon i'll leave ri too. oh no.

I've read the book "who moved my cheese once again". Indeed, we should often ask ourself, "What 'd you do if you WEREN'T AFRAID?"

But i learnt more than that. Of course, the change i'm facing is the departure from RI to RJ. I had previously looked upon it simply as a natural process - unavoidable, so just deal with it.

That still holds true. But there's more.

" The quicker you let go of Old cheese, the sooner you find New cheese."

"When you see that you can find and enjoy New cheese, you change course."

Old cheese's nice, but how do you fully appreciate its flavours if you aren't aware of others?

New Cheese New cheese here i come..... Let the Rat Race begin.

CHIONG AH!!!!!~~~~

破釜沉舟

2006-10-27T23:29:00.000+08:00

Because if u set ur mind on it, then do all it takes to get there, and believe in yourself. Otherwise, no, there's no otherwise. Just GET THERE.

Wrong, no, shut up

2006-10-26T23:11:00.000+08:00

Its kind of silly blogging abt this when i'm actually more bothered abt other things, but my sis laptop's gonna cost $1300 to repair, to which my mum said she'd just get her a new one. heh. 2 months ago i was saying, trade in the old thing and get smth new at the NTU fair (its significantly cheaper, we're talking about thousands here) and my dad was saying if its slightly spoiled pass on to him he'll use it but i said no it cannot be used if it can't even get electricity from the mains but no he won't listen and he'll even threaten my own laptop so i dun fight against my own interests so i shut up. Its been months and i wonder why i still remember it clearly but oh well the one losing $ is him so oh well.

Feeling pretty down over today and its not the marks. Physics got 34/50 with plenty of careless mistakes but i thought it was fine for a day's work (i planned a month ahead, but only studied the day before, procrastinating as well as doing chem instead. which 'll prolly screw up even more).

English was 19/30 but then looking at HZ's paper i realised my work really wasn't balanced enough. And kaibin's flair was really outstanding and xiayi's depth of thought was really impressive so no arguments here, i was pwn pretty bad. The difference here, as opposed to my normal essays, is that the marker wrote down many comments and i now understand, my english has deteriorated. But still, 输得心服口服。 Kong of cuz gave his usual talk but it wasn't very much to me personally. Not sure why, perhaps cuz he doesn't even know my name, or maybe his performance over the year was n ot particularly impressive to me personally. Respect as a teacher, yes, i'm a good student i give basic respect to all teachers. But not the kind of, 'i'm really wowed by u -type".

SS not much to talk abt it, the docu doomed everything so my ct efforts are futile. Then it was mother tongue and thanks to his clip which refuses to work on his laptop we had 45min or so of chit chatting with tph and got to know more of his personal history and really really i want more chinese lessons. Its such a shame that we only had his lesson for 1 short year. But i'm glad that whilst i have no autographs or photos or whatever to take away from this year of hcl lessons, my ws are full of scribbled notes taken from lessons, scribbled with wisdom of this one tough 46 yr old. Chinese is a beautiful subject, becuase within many phrases of chinese contain small little philosophies of their own. And there're so many wise sayings and quotable quotes as well, definitely not inferior to english. Just a shame my standard's so poor.做人，要给别人留有余不尽地步。 oh and last time he quoted maozedong, 一万年太久，只争朝夕。

真是至理名言。

Ma, next yr i going sec 3.

2006-10-25T22:37:00.000+08:00

How i wish we'd grow younger instead of older.

I'd be wiser.

Self doubts and uncertainty, actually they never left me;
'em imps only waiting for this opportunity.
To scare me.

oh there goes hari raya

2006-10-24T23:35:00.000+08:00

Today's soccer was rather messed up, only 3/8 turned up lol. thx for coming zijian chenz and fangjin, thats like a combined 5-6 hours of mrt time? lol i know boon lay is damn far out, but then eh the facilities arent too bad right. +the 'hill' we climbed and the echo we heard, the view was scenic too, no? Oh yes and chenz i beat u at pool 3-4!!! ok ok i lost but still 3-4 is a pretty close score :)

Some rather lagged comments abt Mr. Ban ki moon's ascension to secretary general of the UN. I think(everyone knows, actually), he's got a tough job on his hands. Too many toes to avoid stepping on, lesser men might just freak out and play the "Secretary" and shrink away from the "General", lets hope not him.

Come to think of it, we ourselves everyday have to do the same things too, go abt our lives and not piss too many ppl off or they could get in the way of our ambition.But student life is still easy peasy. I mean, who's toes do we have to look out for? Fellow students are but 16yrs of age, and all belonging generally to the same type of people. Our youth simply arent as diversified as youths from , say, london. And that could be a good think. What about teachers? hmmm they are more colourful individuals due to their life experience, but it still pales in comparison to the kind and variety of characters Mr. Ban has to face, not to mention to soldiers(and bombs) behind these powerful men. From the "God-fearing" Bush to the Muslim Countries, ranging from the moderates to the radicals, not forgetting the Muslim-country-but-secularly-run Turkey which strangely doesn't get the kind of support one would expect from the EU. And throw certain (officially) atheist countries like china into the mix, and u know the full range of characters Mr. Ban's gonna meet. And lets not go into the crises that 'd arise if issues are not settled wisely and diplomatically. Suffice to say, the reason why wise men worry for the human
race's ability to survive the next century, is because the possibility that we might not make it is very REAL.

Now after looking at how insignificant i'm in the whole framework of this big, complex, world, i shall head to bed tonight - worrying not about the nukes and the house effects, but over my tweeny weeny lil problems i'll face tmrw. Nothing learnt, it seems :)

Oh i did learn smth today. Some interesting pick up line thats much more poetic then those greg posted on friendster some time ago. Spotted on Jingna's site, i shall reproduce it here, without her prior permission :)

我讨厌春天，但是我喜欢鲜花
我讨厌夏天，但是我喜欢雨天
我讨厌秋天，但是我喜欢落叶
我讨厌冬天，但是我喜欢雪花
我讨厌这个世界，但是我喜欢你

nice right!

But of course, i 'm under no illusions over its effectiveness. Otherwise she'll be attached by now =P And Chinese Lit students 'll be the hottest dudes around, cuz after scrutinising the fanwen tph gave out over the the past few days, many of whose authors are from CLit class(or at least i think so), i'm perfectly convinced they can write like this, if not better.

If only, come next Mon, i could do so as well.

get wise

2006-10-23T20:37:00.000+08:00

Here lies the body of William Jay,

Who died maintaining his right of way-

He was right, dead right, as he sped along,

But he's just as dead as if he were wrong.

No wonder they say, hit the books. not because of the 黄金屋，nor the 彦如玉，but because within is wisdom.

Funny to know someone thinks u write funny

2006-10-22T23:39:00.000+08:00

Its one of those days again.

When i do nothing but surf useless stuff and re-read my own blog after seeing on jingna's blog that she laugh when she reads my blog which i thought was strange and after rereading my blog, conclusion is, she's strange =D

Oh today was the second last tuition lesson and i feel further and further away from my A1. Despite having written an 'A1 Plan' this morn and entered the steps into my google calender, its still a no-go. just a feeling of despondency i suppose, those chinese essays turn into a blur when scrutinised by my eyes, well aware that 1wk simply isnt enough to internalise the intricate grammar of my "Mother Tongue"(come to think of it, MOTHER TONGUE seems to suggest that its my native language, like, i'm a native speaker of chinese??).

And during tuition today harold was obsessed with my leg hair hahaha come on dude it's MAN! i know lah, hot models with hot Swimmer-type legs are hair-less, but plz i'm no model i'm an intellectual =)

Come to think of it i haven't done much intellectual stuff today. Was supposed to
1)Read chinese model essays (which did not succeed, as elaborated above)
2)Memorise xue er you passages (which got me, um, 45/70 for my sch zuo wen so, not much motivation heh)
3)Work on the sihuoti phillip sent me. Which i still INTEND to do. Just procrastinating, thats all.

But there's a sense of urgency for weiqi, cuz i know any major improvement HAS to come from this 2 months. Next yr's just simply gonna be too busy, as pet made disgustingly clearly known to me last nite. u see this snr in rj,is well , "specific and vague at the wrong times". Bad stuff? Crystal clear. Gd stuff? Find out for urself. Oh wait pet dun get pissed.

Not again. =p

Figured it out

2006-10-21T21:58:00.000+08:00

Cleared room today, before going 'pool and pool' with greg, that is, swimming pool and play pool.

Good workout it was, plus the rides were ok lah, went lakeside there to swim. oh yeah and i managed 50 laps =D my back's chao ta now though heh. my mom (who was helping me moisturise my back after the chinese doc's oil sort of dried it up) said that some skin even tore. Aiyoh. stupid 12 o clock sun. next time change time!!

Not that much things done today, just clearing up the mind.

And figuring out that the choice of subj this wed ain't likely to be like , FINAL one.

Good thinking.

time wasted

2006-10-20T22:40:00.000+08:00

Wasted time doing smth that was a waste of time.

Shan't elaborate, later ppl say i lame again.

But first half was gd, 2nd half was forgettable.

now, now, its injury time.

Useful

2006-10-20T15:47:00.000+08:00

Its been a pretty productive half-day for me.

I've plotted my tasks for the next 2 wks, that is, packing my room, making jc subject choices and O levels HCL.

Then i compiled a whole list of goals i want achieved by the end of dec holis, before sorting them into groups where i could formulate plans to reach them.

Plans as yet unformulated. But u won't believe how many hours i took to do the earlier 2. Plenty of thought req., ya know. Alright, i'll relax with a game of weiqi, then i'll go formulate these plans.

=)

tick tock tick tock

2006-10-19T22:06:00.000+08:00

Time's running away.

Post ct, Day 1-

Things accomplished:

1) Discovered key weakness in chinese Os, that is , my zuowen, cuz my sentences look too angmoh. And i sound pretty angmoh too. And that reminds me of the phonemics course where i realised my english had too much chinese influence. Neither here nor there, how?

2)Changed skin for Raffles Weiqi Blog: Ok, at least this is done.

3) Won 2 games on kgs: yay. thats gd.

4)discovered my tablet pen can use the handwriting on msn. whee.

But frankly the botched trip to vivo spoiled things.

and maybe cuz i haven't been working out, even my appetite suffers. sucks.

tick tock tick tock

Tmrw will be better.

Of final year Tests

2006-10-18T23:24:00.000+08:00

The thing to do when ur supposed to study for lit but just can't get into the mood for it, i suppose, is to hone your writing skills elsewhere. like here.

I've always felt a sense of emptiness after exams, and even more so this year. Reason being, u stuff urself will SOOOOO much info building up to the exam, and in a matter hours later you could very well throw them away with no real consequences. This being especially true this year since i will only be taking like 4 subjects next yr compared to 9 now, which mean 5 can be flung outta the window.

I'm pretty sure the knowledge i mugged for, will largely be forgotten in a couple of days time. It'll be like the recent rank graph of kgs high dan players, take Cornel Burzo, a top european player for example, dropped right from 8d to 7d in the kgs rating shift that , at the other end of the spectrum, saw Ben rise to 6k, pat to 3k and me to dan :)

Not sure if u feel it, but there's some 'deadness' in my words. Post exam emptiness, i say.And i'm scared i'll let it overun me, cuz i really want to make good use of the next 2months of my life. So this empty feeling better not drag over. Time to highlight things i wanna do in the coming 2 months, in no particular order(yeah yeah i'll prioritise, later) :

1) Work out the league for raffles weiqi's holi training: This is one headache, cuz i'm not sure how many registration mails i received in all. Ok here's my rough idea for the league (actually, this format was planned for a combined training camp with rjc before qiuping, but the rj ppl couldn't make it so it was scrapped) -

We'll have 4 groups: Group A , Group B, Group C, Group D where players are grouped according to strength. Each group will consist of 3 players, with the exception of group A, which will have 4 players.

Based on the original requirement that each participant is to commit himself to 2 games a week (frankly, this should be increased if we want to go intensive), a round robin of each group will be completed weekly. Group A, requiring 3games instead of 2, will just have to fork out the extra time.

At the end of each week, the top player of each group will be promoted and the bottom player demoted. I anticipate the problem that scores will be tied (everyone wins1 lose 1) so we'll need to work this out but the purpose behind this system is to facilitate reviewing, as follows:

GroupA's top player shall review 2 selected games from his Group's matches.
Group A's 2nd shall review for Group B
Group A's 3rd shall review for Group C
Group A's 4th shall review for Group D

In other words, Group A will be a 'teaching' group.

Advantages: Weaker players will obtain instruction from our top players.
Disadvantages: Stronger players will be saddled with teaching responsibilities.

I considered an alternative model where the top player of each group, before promotion, shall take on the responsibility of reviewing.

As stated, this is just a very rough model of which details awaits thrashing out, probably this coming friday. Comments please.

2)Pack my room: Its in a mess. huge mess. not sure how i'm gonna clear this up.

3)Study chinese Os: Alright alright i'm cursed with a b4 for prelims. And as zijian correctly pointed out, my chinese still has that yang qiang yang diao feel to it. 2 weeks to perform a miracle. I still want my A1. Question is, how badly?

4)Plan a new workout: Which has kinda been stalled, and will rest on how my back copes. Its feeling better lately, and i'm excited abt switching workouts. gotta balance it with plenty else thoguh.

5) Get ready for floorball: Yes, i want to succeed in sports. Which'll go in line with 4), since i must put in more cardio for fitness. No fitness, no play, simple as that.

6)Update wardrobe: Yeah i realised, i only have 1 pair of long pants that i'd wear out. i got jeans, but i dun like wearing jeans, so i should start going for what i like. My clear out clothes that i'm not gonna wear, cuz plenty of them were bought under influence of 'mommy dearest', who, a-hem, is no fashionista and doesn't know my tastes as much as she think she does.

7)Select subjects for next yr: This will be a big-time decision, since i'll want to plan my uni education, even if only vaguely so, along with jc subj combi as well. time to talk, ask, consult. Big-time, thats the word for it. Slowly, slowly, no room for regrets.

8)Update the skin of raffles-weiqi blog: gotta rope minghui in for this though, shit, shoulda asked him just now.

9) Plan my own weiqi training programme: Yes i gotta do this yet again. Filled with enthusiasm once again after my hiatus, back to my love of replaying pro games, but i know this holi is my last chance for another huge leap in skills. First was towards the end of sec 2, when even on holiday i brought sihuo bk along to do. paid off when i returned. 2nd leap was after studying under phillip. Now 's time for the 3rd leap, and my 3dan swa next yr. Must do even more sihuo, play more, study pro games and more importantly, play the new stuff. Experiment!

10)Read more: yes, that includes the classics as well as economist kinda stuff.general knowledge.

11)Follow up on DMP modules:Strictly speaking, this should be 2 diff points, but u see how many i already have... diao. Ok this refers to improving my pronounciation of words (phonemic course) and learning Predicate logic (sentence logic course)

12)Learn more about my own religion: As i found out during a convo with a friend this week, my knowledge of buddhism is really poor. Saw a video of a speech by a monk and i didn't quite buy into what he said, explaining some sutra thats supposed to ward off diseases like SARS. oh well.

As you can see, there're HEAPS of things to do. Can i do it? oh the monk told a story that made sense too. As follows:

A basketball player, after a vigorous game of bball, discovers his contact lenses, which were the permanent type rather than disposal types, missing. He searches the bball court high and low and still can't find it. So he return home sadly and tells his mom, "mom, i've lost my contact lenses...". Upon hearing his words, his mom dashed to his school, and return hours later with the lenses.

son: Mom! how did u find it? U didn't even know whr i dropped it!

mom: Of course i can find.

Son:Even i couldn't, how did u?

mom: You were looking for so plastic, i was searching for $3000 bucks!!! (taiwanese currency, but still pretty much)

As u can see, Its All a Matter of Motivation.

Digressing, i was chatting with hy today, who said that upon gg to openhouse last fri, she was surprised by the change in personality of her snr, presumely cuz of the presence of guys. Then i saw my documentary today of teenage mental illness, in particular personality disorder. the doctor commented that such a condition was rare amongst teenagers, as disorder to a person's personality requires the establishment of one in the first place, something which teenagers are still in the procress of developing. So perhaps we should not call it change. its development. euphemism, yes, but they're there for a reason. Additionally, i think, single sex schs are pretty unnatural; a person's true(if there's such a thing) personality cannot be attained till he/she comes into constant contact with members of the opposite gender.

In the spirit of digressing, i rmbr that cabinet minister george yeo started blogging and in an interview he was saying smth to the effect of, if you've nothing interesting u should not be blogging. But then interest is smth thats just so subjective. My life is of interest to me, even if its not to u. This awfully long post is of interest to me, even if it isnt to u. How do u judge the value of a blog? By the number of visitors? That'd be akin to judging girls by their number of suitors, which, in the modern era, 'd be frowned upon by feminist (i haven't come to a stand on the issue meself). Thus, the effectiveness of a blog in attracting readers is not the same as the value of a blog.

Just like how we learn of the effectiveness vs value of comedy. Eg the 'mai hum' song mr brown make. effective as in funny, yes. Value? I would say not as much as the other clip the teacher showed us, as the speaker spoke on the issue of Native Speakers (native to where?)

So u see, there's a purpose in studying after all. U can forgot all the information, but retain the skills of evaluation.

As i demonstrated here, to mine satisfaction if not yours.

First time in a long while...

2006-10-18T13:06:00.000+08:00

This past 7 days has been a 'new' experience. look.

First time in a long while...

1) i got injured: Nuff' said abt this one.

2) i miss gym for 5days in a row: refer to 1).

3) i play weiqi: And i find myself 1dan, after a hiatus of a month or so. KGS decided to jack up
their ranks, and the interface is new as well.takes some getting used to.

4)i win: refer to 3).

5)i cut myself: no, not suicide, i cut myself while shaving today. Time to get shaving cream?

6) i sleep at 2am: And it had to be the night before Maths. Perfect timing. Not studying, destressing.

so u see, there's just 1 paper left, and plenty more new things to do, once my back clears up.

better give it some rest tonight :)

so thats what squats are for

2006-10-15T23:32:00.000+08:00

Its worse than i thought.

My gosh its real tight. So i went to see a chinese doc who helped me tui na and said i'd be lucky if in 2 days time ( by the time the medicine he gives me finishes) i recovered 50%. heh. no weights for 2wks, according to him aww.

anyway he was asking how i injured it, so i related the whole story to him and when he heard it was at gym immediately he assumed i added too much weights. YAO MAN MAN LAI!@@#!#! wah lao eh... i used the same weights as last session lor. not like i'm some novice... i've been to the gym for a year already ok!!! ok ok... 11mnths, not a year. ok ok, minus the month in beijing, 10months. fine, minus the month i fell sick and had 2 doses of anti biotics.... 9months. aiyah but its still quite long ok.

haiya but nvm better wait the 2 wks. no pt rushing and getting hurt.

but then today has been terrible. u know its hard when u can't move abt as u'd like to.haiz. i know my math's good, even though my mock test got like 22/60. i'm just confusing differentiation with integration. i'll get it right tmrw bah, i just need a clear mind. then why am i awake now, u ask. cuz i need to destress!!!!!

it'll go fine, it will, will.

hurt

2006-10-14T21:10:00.000+08:00

my first injury in a long while.

Strained my right back's muscle today. And guess what it was from - studying.

Stayed up late to mug last night, first time in a long while since i adopted my 'healthy lifestyle' plan. Cuz i slacked last nite, so i had to study all the way till morn. And my back felt funny this afternoon after 3hours of tuition in the morning.mom was saying, its due to sitting up straight for too long so i thought it was nothing much till i hit the gym. Did my dumbell bench press and twisting shoulder press fine and probably aggravated it when i was shifting the weights for Squats. Tried awhile more but decided to call it a day, given the consequences of hurting ur back, which basically means u can't do any other exercise.

Yucks.I'm hoping it heals quick, i hope it doesn't interfere with my holiday workout plan.

Went open house ytd and found out that Floorball trains on 1,3,6, which's fine for me since i only need fri to be free for weiqi. Just wondered if i could cope with so heavy cca load. Anyway i've heard plenty of ppl saying floorball's soft and all but hey, if ur man enough u go in and make it man, man.

And if i train hard enough, i might just make it into my hall's team this dec.woohoo!

But now, back to the books.

so much to say, so little time

2006-10-11T22:09:00.000+08:00

i said i won't be coming on till its all over. its isnt.

i'm glad it isnt all over, cuz my chem ca, thx to guanxin, is unexpectedly high.

but i still can't run away from the fact that i slacked ytd, and many other days away.

my month -long study plan's now compressed to 3 days.

just great.

Some Other Outlet

HELLO HELLO

whr am i

I thought MSN knew my promos was not over

Where are your legs?

A little comfort

YOU'VE BEEN REPLACED

uneventful

zzz

capture the feeling and write

the task at hand

now time's tight

How do you get it off your chest

Do you call that selfish?

quick comments

The efficacy of library in stimulating work

Not really

everything as planned

A bagfull of problems

What 'll make you happy?

new direction

Have you got Game?

wasted

no, i did study

resolve to do it

taking stock

difficult

some boring stuff

Purchasing Pika

right again

correct

as Reality ravishes my reality

tired, but..

stuff.

the mega problem

figuring

pity the juices don't flow

Get out of that hole, you

You know the Deal

Here it is, my baby

I love this wk, but wait till the wkn

And back into the rhythm

休息，是为了要走更长远的路

ages

dead

smile

once a week thing

泰山崩于前而色不变

Some chase their dreams; I better not be chasing dust

happy

did it work, or not?

What i Like

You Know My Name

复活

day done things undone

So get back in order

And i learnt so much

These days i can't think of good titles

and face it, tackle it, and make it disappear

break go break go

next one please!

What are you doing with earplugs on!

最近

the thrill of winning

aiyer

And more

Please release me.

shop, shop, shop

Some progress

Weary

Pull it back

I'll call it Nanyang Trail

point by point

just some notes

So thats what they do in europe

A filling time

I'm seeing things

Family

If you lie to me don't get found out

and its day 3 of holiday